This weekend the SSM coming with me to my Nephew’s birthday. He will be meeting my sister in law, my aunt, my uncle, my grandmother (he has already met my brother and nephew) but most significant … he is going to meet the lady.
Wow, this will mean that the lady will have met all five of my boyfriends.
Eeek!
Man, I hope he is ready.
TSG
The Lady flew out yesterday afternoon after a wonderful week long visit. We went out for drinks and dinners, to the theatre and enjoyed time at home playing cards. She met Mr. Awesome and spent time with GB roomie and I. I will really miss the laundry service, but starting next week I should be able keep on top of my domestic duties.
Bye Lady! We will miss you.
As she was headed to the airport Roomies mom was landing in the city for a two week visist. She is here to spend time with her daughter (obviously) and to work on the basement apartment renovations. Woot, renos! GB told me that he left the house yesterday at 10:30 and the Lady was on the couch reading, and when he came home Roomies Mom was napping on the same couch.
It all gets more interesting starting Monday when the SSM arrives and we are a full house for a week. Luckily GB is away on Business so we have an extra room for the extra mom in the house.
Between the moms, the renos and the work commitments this week has been really busy, but starting next week my life should be more manageable and I am hoping to get back to the blogging again. Well, as long as I can find some time to blog when the SSM is not around. Wouldn’t want him snooping around here.
See you next week!
TSG
The Lady is in town an last night she and I and GB and Roomie and Awesome went out for a few drinks. A few drinks turned into 4 pints and two shooters, then off to a party for wine then home for another beer each and an amaretto (yeah we really needed that).
This morning we are all moving pretty slow. I just served up Kraft Dinner to the Lady and GB and he took one bite and moaned "Oh ... this is good. "
Yeah it is one of those kind of days.
TSG
After meeting the Lady and spending an evening in a small town with two wonderful women talking about life, love, religion, politics, etc. Fireboy was compelled to ask me about my patterns in dating as I drove him back to the city.
He wanted to know all about my dating past and patterns. Why did I date unavailable men and what I can do to consciously change as I move forward in the dating world. Maybe all I needed to do was think about what I was doing as I began dating someone new, or maybe try a dating service where I could meet single men in their 30s that are looking for a relationship now that they have established their careers.
Now, many many many people have tried to have this conversation with me. Most end up getting an earful from me essentially saying … don’t you think I would change these patterns if I could, or why do I have to be in a couple to be happy, or the classic, Who the hell do you think you are to tell me what to do in my dating life! But, as I was driving and knew that these words were somehow connected to his wonderful time in the small town and knowing that the reunion with the SSM was a short one, that he really does just want to see me happy and the fact that he had never tried to “convert” me to the couple way of life before I let him talk and didn’t say much at all.
I have now been home for almost three days and I have managed to slide back into all my old comfortable relationship patterns. Morning coffee with Roomie, emails and lunches with Awesome, two pints with GB, walking, coffee breaks with my favourite coworkers, emails with the Lady and so on. It is nice to be able to slide right back into my usual routine at home and at work, but it does get me to thinking I will continue with the dating pattern here at home? Unavailable men, blue eyed assholes, and so on. Probably, it is what I know and am as comfortable with that pattern as I am with the rest of them. I would hate to change any of my other patterns, so this bad one might just have to stick around for a while as I settle back into life.
Shh … don’t tell Fireboy.
So I know I promised stories of the SSM and Fireboy, but my time here continues to be busy. I will however say this; Fireboy is currently asleep in the spare room of the Lady’s house, having come for a visit to the small town. The SSM and I had a brief rekindling while both in the centre of the universe and now I am not sure how I feel about the whole thing but that can’t be surprising.
And finally in less then a week I am heading back home to rejoin my life and I am a bit nervous about the whole thing. Will I be able to step back into my life and work? I am not sure but I know I need to try.
More soon as I get back into a routine.
TSG
WARNING … very graphic post about bikini waxing. Consider yourself warned.
About a week ago The Lady decided she wanted to try waxing … but at home. Sure, why not, it could save a few bucks right now I thought, and how many people really get to bond with their mom over hot wax?
So off to the store we went and spent twenty minutes in the “wax aisle” looking at wax strips, hot wax, cold wax, sugaring, nads … you name it we examined it. In the end my experience and comfort with hot wax tipped the scales to hot wax and strips. Once home, and after a few glasses of wine we decided to try it. First we heated it then applied and RIP! Amazingly it didn’t hurt that much.
Wow, have I just found a great way to save hundreds of dollars a year!
No, no I haven’t. A few days later with my trip to the centre of the universe in front of me I thought, okay, this isn’t so bad, I can totally wax my bikini line on my own – now I wasn’t about to try my first home Brazilian, but come on a little off the sides can’t be that hard.
Lesson #1 ~ Never wax hungover.
Seriously, I was nauseous and shaky when I started on my own, not a good combination when applying and ripping hot wax off your body.
Lesson #2Make sure the wax is hot enough.
Not too hot, not to cold, but just right. Why you ask?
After a few strips on my thighs, I thought to myself, okay, this isn’t so bad, I am ready to take this project close to the panty line. I applied the wax, then the strip and RIP!
And then I almost vomited. I sat down on the towel put my head between my knees and tried to keep my fried egg sandwich down. “Breath, it will be fine, it hurts, but you don’t have to throw up, everything will be fine. Pull yourself together before the lady gets home.” I chanted to myself as I held onto the tub.
It was at this point looked at the patch where I had ripped the wax off and saw it, a hickey. That’s right if use wax that isn’t at the right temperature you will bruise your hair follicles, causing something that looks like a hickey. In my case it was a hickey BESIDE MY VAGINA! Again I put my head between my knees and wondered what I would do if anyone was in the position to see the affected area, which again brought me back to the anti vomit chanting. Once the pain and nausea subsided a little I decided that was enough waxing for today and that it was time to get in the shower and pull out the trusty Gillette for old time sake.
Why am I sharing this story? Amusement for one, because really the visual of me ripping wax strips and gawking at my “hickey” is amusing. More importantly I tell you for education. Please use this story as a proverb: Never wax when hung over and never ever ever use wax that isn’t hot enough.
Coming back one story at a time …
The Single Girl
What is it they say about the best laid plans …
Three years ago I was offered a job that took me away from the centre of the universe and everything and everyone I knew. I came here very skeptical of everything but the job and a handful of friends. I never really thought I would call this place home. I always planned to be gone within a year or two. That is the funny thing about plans isn’t it, they change. I was talking to the lady tonight and the conversation turned to life plans and paths.
My plan we always to work hard and be successful, it is what I know, what I love and what I know I can do. My path to get there has never been as certain and my plan. How I get there has never been clear to me. Anytime someone asks me -where do I see myself in five years - I can never tell them because I don’t know. I am coming to realize that the SSM needed to follow through with his plan and find his path. It reminded me of a time when I was so focused on a path that I hurt someone I cared about.
Six months before I took my current job I applied for a job that would have taken me from the centre of the universe and I did so without consulting my boyfriend of over a year. My plan was career and this job fit perfectly into my plan. The day I found out I got the interview I was ecstatic and nervous. I wanted to talk to him about how I was feeling and what was going to happen and he wanted nothing to do with me.
At the time I was really mad at him for leaving me when I needed to talk and figure things out, but in hind site he was probably hurt by the fact that I was planning my future and it didn’t seem to matter whether he was there or not. My plan was about my career and if it diverged from the relationship path, well, that can be the price of success. It wasn’t that I wanted out of the relationship or thought it unimportant, but my plan had been my focus for years and this man hadn’t been around nearly as long. I didn’t end up getting that job and when the time to apply somewhere else rolled around I did consult with him about the possibility of moving and he said he would consider leaving the centre of the universe. But that is another story.
Why did I pull this story from the vault for you today dear reader? Well it seems that I am going to step off the path for a while. I have made a decision to go home to my family for a while because I need to be with them and they would like the assistance. Plans changes, paths fork and life changes in ways we never saw coming.
The best-laid schemes o' mice an 'men
Gang aft agley,
An'lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promis'd joy!
**From the poem To A Mouse, On Turning Her Up In Her Nest With The Plough by Robert Burns.
The Single Girl
Now is the time for action. My one year blogaversary was last week so I was reading about what I was doing a year ago when I started all of this, and Dammit I was fun! It is time to sit up straight, grab a drink and hit the dance floor! Seriously people I need some inappropriate male attention, not just for me but all of you. I am suppose to be keeping the dream alive here, not moping about lost love and other melancholy feelings.
I informed Awesome today at lunch that I need to go drinking and dancing and make out with a boy(s) -other than him. His response … “so you want me to pick you up, take you out, pay for everything, make sure you get home safe and watch you make out with other guys.” “Yeah, kinda. But you don’t have to pay for everything. You up for it?” So sometime soon, Mr. Awesome and I are going to have an adventure, something we haven’t done in months and you will get to hear all about here first. Well, the lady might get a call before it hits the internet, but you all are definitely second.
I am not saying that all the sad writing about my broken little heart or the stress in my life is behind me entirely but I am trying to be proactive here people! The Single Girl is going to pull up her socks, put on some lip gloss and find the twinkle in her eye again.
Wish me luck. This feels good to think about. Good for me!
TSG
I have been away for a bit, but don’t worry everything is fine. In some ways it is better than fine, I have been with my family for days and now I am on my way to spend time with my friends – or as the lady has been know to call friends – the family you chose. Being far from my family and many of my close friends is a tough thing for me at times and right now is no exception. The only problem with this kind of travel and visit is that I always end up over extending myself. This time I was thinking I wouldn’t do it, I am not telling too many people that I am here and I am only going to spend time with one or two people. I will relax I need it.
But no, now I have booked myself solid from the time I get there until the time I fly out. Apparently I like to be over extended. Truly I just want to see everyone and get a hug or two and feel connected. Relaxing at my friend’s house alone won’t make me feel better, lunching and beers and tea and hugs and pregnant bellies are what a really want and need.
What I have not been connected to in the past four days is the internet. Sometimes that was tough, but only because instead of watching TV these days, when I am bored I play on the internet. So my evening after all the old folks and young families went to bed I tended to get a bit twitchy but I am good now. It is nice to be here connected once again to my facebook, my email, my blogs, and to you my readers. You may not give me hugs, but you do make me feel comfort.
Oh … yeah … the wedding. No boys worth my time so I spent my evening with the Lady drinking beer and dancing. Way better than getting drunk and kissing some slob and regretting it in the morning. Don’t you think? I’m not sure either, but that is the way it happened.
Hope you all are getting your connections today.
The Single Girl
Last night the SSM and I had a 45 minute phone chat. Nothing earth shattering just catching up on our last 3 weeks, he has been on holidays and enjoying life and I have been dealing with family crises and not enjoying life (for the most part). On the wise council of The Lady I never steered the conversation towards “us” because I just don’t need the additional heartache right now.
I told him I had other phone calls to make that evening so I had to go he was fine with that he also had things to do and then there was this silence big as a Galaxy and everything we weren’t saying to each other filled it up in about 20 seconds. I thought the air in my room was going to be sucked out into the phone along with all the unspoken words. Finally I said “Okay I am going to hang up now” he laughed, probably happy to have the tension broken and we said our goodbyes.
I really want to text him or to email him and tell him it was good to talk to him but I think at this point I need to let everything settle for a while before I make contact again. It will be really hard for a day or two but in a few days I will have other distractions to keep me occupied and it will become easier.
Speaking of distractions I am going to a wedding on Saturday which will be a good opportunity for me to scope out some boys and have some fun. Someone once told me the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else ;)
Okay I am definitely not be ready for that, but a night a flirting and dancing will be great for what ails me.
The Single Girl
This morning the SSM was using my computer while I was making my lunch and getting ready for work. I left gmail open for him to use but forgot to close the word document that has ALL MY BLOG ENTRIES ON IT.
When he was done with his email I said alright we should get going and he closed the internet window and there on the screen was the entry about having dinner with his parents. I tried to remain calm and said “oh close that” and closed the laptop instead of closing the document first. I don’t think he noticed or read what was on the screen, but my heart raced and I realized I have to be more careful for the next few days. Thank goodness he is so consumed with the move that he doesn’t have time to snoop around my computer.
Lady, I can hear you from here ... I know you told me so.
The Single Girl
I am actually too busy to post. There is a lot to come including a lovely night at a hotel with the SSM, hiking with GB and throwing an impromptu dinner party, driving a convertible into the country side for a day and the upcoming debauch weekend with friends from University.
Look for me next week when all the activity dies down and I have a chance to get you all caught up.
Kisses
The Single Girl
When I got to work this morning this message was waiting for me in my inbox:
So I came to work just before 9:00 a.m. it is now after 10:00 and I have; visited your blog, read multiple entries of the first 5 links on your blog, gone to the goolge search for puppies (oh my god the woman with the painted breasts!!), and am now writing to you. I need to say this is likely all YOUR FAULT. If you had taken the time to post one small item on you blog (done your blogligations, to quote Jill) than I would likely have been content to read that entry and get on with my work. But oh no, you probably did something silly last night, like work or pack or some other useful thing….leaving me with out a morning fix and causing me to waste more than an hour. I hope you are appropriately chagrinned.
The Lady
Well Lady … I am sorry for the lack of posting for the past few days. I have had some eventful times. I spent the night at the SSM’s place on Saturday night and he is coming over tonight to watch me pack. Pack!?! Yes dear readers TSG is going on a road trip for work for the next two weeks. That means there will be very little posting – so Lady you are going to have to get some other blogs to enjoy for a time.
I am also feeling a little overwhelmed by … well … life and everything associated with having one, and that can be tough to write about in a blog without coming off whiny, or crazy so please be patient and I will be back to my good ole’ self in a few days.
Lots to do here at the office before I leave town, so I best get to it.
TTFN
The Single Girl
So it was a date that I went on with the slightly strange man the other night. And you know what it was a perfectly normal date with a slight strange, but perfectly nice man. We met at the pub we like, had a couple of pints, split a pizza and talked for about 3 hours. All the usual stuff, history family, mutual friends, drinking stories, vomit stories, near death experiences, work … first date chat.
At the end of the night we walked for a few blocks until we reached the corner where I had to go north and he had to go south and we said goodbye. I told him I had a good time and we hugged and he kissed me on the lips. I was a bit surprised, and I think I pulled back a bit smiled and said thanks, or something equally lame and then good night and I put my hand on his arm and gave it a little squeeze. He then pulled me in and really kissed me. Right there on the corner of north and south we made out like two 15 year olds for about ten minutes until someone drove by and yelled get a room. This seemed like good time to make my exit so I pulled away and said I think I better go and wandered off towards my home.
Once home I was very quiet (which is unusual for me.) I asked GB how his day was as I checked my email. “Fine. Where have you been? Wait you had a date with the SSM didn’t you?” “Yep” I replied quietly and smiled in GB’s direction. “Well how was it … Oh Gawd. You like him don’t you?” GB groaned and looked up from his computer “It was good we had fun. I might like him. I’m going to bed.”
The three pints I had enjoyed at the pub allowed me to drift of to sleep fairly quickly but by about 2am their sedative effects were gone and I was left with a dry mouth and three slices of pizza sitting in my gut like a brick keeping me up. From 2 until after 4am I lied in bed thinking about the date and the boy and work and life and everything swirled and swirled as I tossed and turned wishing I could get back to sleep. I managed to get a few more hours before I had to get up and go into work but not enough to really function.
In the morning after having a cup of coffee in the shower to try and get me moving, I had a small freak out with Roomie as I told her about the date and grinned like some sort of Cheshire cat. “Aww it’s great.” She said and assured me that everything was going to be fine. “A good date is a good thing, remember you’re a commitment phob so relax and don’t think too much, this is fun. Right! TSG enjoy it.” Right, enjoy it I thought as I heading out the door to work.
I got to work and wasn’t very productive between the lack of sleep, the three pints and the date. I messed up a bunch of work and generally looked confused as people talked to me about various projects. Around 2pm I decided it was best for all concerned if I just went home and had a nap, my boss concurred. After my nap I decided to call The Lady as we hadn’t spoken in days and I told her all about the date and the freaking out and hating the fact that I couldn’t concentrate at work and that I couldn’t sleep. “What is wrong with you? This is the part that everyone else in the world loves. The butterflies, the giggles, RELAX enjoying it. This is great. My god it was just a date, who knows what happens next. Don’t borrow trouble and sabotage a good time.”
So today I am working on letting the butterflies and giggles and far off gazes rolls over me in waves like they naturally want to instead of trying to stop the feelings dead in their tracks before they have a chance to form. We will see what happens. Wish me luck, I am trying here.
The Single Girl
When I got home from work last night there was a package from The Lady waiting for me. Getting a care package from home is not an unheard of thing for me and this week I was actually expecting a parcel as I had left a pair of pants to be hemmed the last time I was home.
When I saw the box propped against the front door I was a little surprised. It seemed like a large box for one pair of pants, and the sunglasses I had accidentally left behind. I brought it into the house and figured that it was the only box she had at the time but didn’t open it as I was dying for a snack and the dog was in need of my attention. Once my hunger was at bay and the dog was watered and walked I went about my after work routine and sort of forgot about the care package in the hall.
When the roomies got home they were shocked that I had received a care package from home but hadn’t yet opened it. So for their vicarious enjoyment I immediately opened the box. Inside I was happy to find my newly hemmed pants and my sorely missed shades, and then I pulled out two black garter belts, three pairs of black stockings (including a pair with black seams) to go with the garter belts, a four foot long satin shall – black satin on one side, white satin on the other and the nipple clips.
Thanks Mommy! I truly am a lucky, lucky girl.
The Single Girl
Warning*** I am posting blind without spell check so please be kind.
What can I say about vacationing ... it is great, although I am hungover a fair amount.
The weekend was spent with Dad, the Lady and GB back in my hometown.
We arrived in town around 1pm on Saturday and were greeted with mimosas and homemade croissants - I love going home. GB and I then did the 50 cent tour of town before coming home and having a five course dinner with wine pairings. Mmm Mmm good. Then off to a party for one of my best friends.
It was great we walked in the door to her parents house and she was so surprised to see me she almost jumped out of her skin. I love making people happy. So we sat and drank with all the folks until the beer ran out at and then GB and I stumbled home for a little rest.
I had been saying all day Saturday that I was going to get up early and go to the gym for a run on Sunday, but somehow, after the bucket of beer and large amounts of wine it never quite happened - so there was much razzing from GB and The Lady. Instead I did get up and do all the dishes in the morning from the 5 course meal from the night before. Which in my humble opinion was better for everyone.
Then we had some brunch and GB and I went for a hike down by the river to cleanse our bodies a little from the night before. When we returned home around 3pm the best friend from the night before and her husband were at the house having a beer with the folks. So GB and I quickly grabbed a beer from the fridge and we all settled into a perfect Sunday afternoon at home -beer, good stories, torte and shooters! That's right folks spending a Sunday the the parents of the Single Girl includes a round (or in this case two) of shooters. As GB noted the next day, two shots of Zambooka in the middle of your drinking are a real pick me up, so we continued drinking until the beer ran out (bit of a theme there) sometime after dark.
After two solid days of drinking yesterday was a much more measured day for the single girl. Tonight ... well it may not be so calm as I am seeing, GB, Fireboy and OQB ... it could be an adventure.
Kisses to all.
The Single Girl
I received this email early this morning from The Lady:
So I just wanted you to know that I began my workday at 8:30, no that is not accurate, I came to my desk at 8:30 but I foolishly checked your blog right after checking email. Seeing no new posting, I decided to wander to some of the links you provide. After I read snippets from six bloggers, I then went to life on the roof and read through all of the posting there, then to Jill Murray and read all the new postings there which forced me to google skymall where I then wasted a further half hour.
Now I am clear that you and your blogging buddies have effectively ruined my once stellar work ethic.
Hope you are happy with yourself!
So there you have it folks, all of you have ruined her life, I hope you are happy – I am positively giddy!
Enjoy the day lovelies!
xo
The Single Girl
I received this email from the lady this morning …
So more about the bartender…. You haven’t given me his vital statistics, starting with is he older than 12 (just kidding) …
Just so we are all clear … I believe the bartender to be about 26-27(cause I don’t actually know). It is still cradle robbing if we want to get all technical about it but he is older than Awesome and that is something.
Oh speaking of Awesome, he resurfaced last week and sent me an email because as the lady says, it never rains it pours …
But my real point is there was a time when the median age of the men I dated was actually one to two years older than me, not 3 to 5 years younger. I feel a bit like Matthew McConaughey in Dazed and Confused “I keep gettin’ older but they keep staying the same age.”
I am now one full day alcohol free, but tonight the bartender of my dreams is working so I wouldn’t count on me getting to day two.
That is all for news, weather and sports here at TSG central.
TSG: Lady my nose hurts and is red from my cold
The Lady: You should put some Vaseline on it
TSG: Ewwww! Can’t I use skin cream
The Lady: No that will make it flake use Vaseline
TSG: Really? I don’t have Vaseline.
The Lady: Well use K-Y or some other lube …
TSG: OMG
The Lady: I know you have some sort of lube in the house so put that on your nose
TSG: I am not putting lube on my nose. I have to go now
So over the past two days I have received three fabulous packages in the mail from some of my mamas. One package from my actual biological mother, one package from my mom’s college roommate whom I also call mama and one from the yaya that I am named after. All three are wonderful women and they have sent wonderful little gifts.
I have to be honest though my favourite things in the packages are the olive mesh arm warmers from one of the ya-ya’s. They will be perfect accessories for the fetish night I am attending in two weeks. As always your ya-ya timing is impeccable. I will do my best to get a picture to the ya-yas in my full outfit for that evening.
Also sent were some dresses from my past in a hope that one of them would work for my upcoming Christmas excursion with Awesome. Well I am ecstatic to report that the dress my mom sent is perfect for the party according to all. It is red velvet and according the CMG it is the perfect naughty elf outfit. The best part is that it is a dress I bought in highschool, and it fits! I think I will have to kiss my trainer tomorrow.
Must run. Today is GB champagne birthday and there is celebrating to do.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GB!
The Single Girl
Ps. Here is a picture of us preparing Absinthe on Saturday night in the sultan’s tent. In case you ever wondered how it was done ...
