OQB and I were chatting late last week and he told me that he is dating a man named Awesome. His actual last name is Awesome. I have to admit I am a little jealous of this turn of events but mostly I am just happy for him. A man named Awesome who use to write for porno movies.
It just doesn’t get any better than that ladies and gentlemen.
Upon hearing that I had a make out session with Awesome
Fireboy: TSG, you realize, at this point, the only way you could make your life more complicated would be to sleep with GB.
TSG: Yeah, that would pretty much do it. Unless I could also find a way to get OQB involved ...
I am getting a new computer at work so I have to go through the one I have now and clean up all my files i.e. my personal files on the work computer. In the process I have come across a few IM conversations with my friend J about the SSM over the course of the summer. It is both fascinating and heart breaking to read.
As early as July I knew I was falling for this guy, and as early as July I knew it wasn’t going to work out. So did J, and very clearly told me in every conversation that I needed to tell him how I felt and walk away before I got too hurt. Well, we know that I didn’t talk to him until the very end of the summer. And even then I just told him how I felt I didn’t really walk away. I think I am almost ready to walk away – but more on that another day.
Reading the IM chats makes me wish I did a better job of logging our summer adventures here on the blog. Then again it would just be one more thing read and obsess over. More importantly OQB would never rise the to ranks of most blogged about if I did that ;)
I think I need to have lunch with Awesome. No matter what is going on in my life, his life is invariably messier than mine. It is good for a little perspective and it is almost always funny – not funny ha ha, but funny living nightmare.
The Single Girl
It has come to my attention that I currently have five boyfriends – GB,OQB, Fireboy, Awesome, and the SSM. Each one of them hold a special place in my heart and my life. This might be oversimplified, but here is what each one of them bring to my life currently.
GB is my primary boyfriend (so to speak). He is my roommate and friend and we share everything from our daily minutia to our long term life plans.
OQB is my fabulous boyfriend. He and I share a party lifestyle and spend time dancing, talking about relationships and generally condemning the world to be less fabulous than we are.
Frieboy is my spiritual boyfriend. He and I spend our time together talking about how we feel and what we are trying to do with our lives and how, we can improve ourselves and our relationships.
Awesome is my bad boy boyfriend. Awesome and I spend our time talking about conspiracy theories, how the world sucks and everyone is out to get him and that there is no point in trying because it is all going to end in shit anyway.
The SSM is my ex boyfriend. He is the man who is teaching me what I want and deserve from a romantic partner.
Together they create my unholy pentagon.
Having realized this I think it is time to lose one or two of the boyfriends before a man in a red suit shows up at my door offering me a plumb job in hell.
TSG
One of the best nights out I have had in weeks, turned out to be a night in with OQB last week. I was staying at his place one night while in the centre of the universe and when we were making a plan for the evening he asked what I wanted to do as it was a Friday night. “Don’t really care, what do you want to do?” I said thinking we would hit a bar or two, but he surprised me by saying “I don’t care as long as we don’t go out.”
So we stayed in, gossiped, drank a bottle of wine, contemplated drinking a second and played a game of scrabble. Not what I expected from my OQB, but truly what I needed and wanted. Part of our gossiping circled around this blog actually … and a post I made a few days early called Vaguely Messy.
I noticed recently that I have a parallel life happening here and in The Centre of the Universe. What do I mean?
In each place I have a best friend that I live with, a Gay Boyfriend and an ex-lover turned really good friend. Freaky eh? Here I have Roomie, GB and Awesome and there I have BFF, OQB and Fireboy.
I like that I can feel at home in two cities in the world.
Just an observation.
TSG
I have finally arrived back at home so starting very soon faithful readers (all 6 of you) the single girl will be posting regularly again. I actually have a few posts floating around in my head including one from OQB, who I had the pleasure of seeing this week.
For now I must run and read the 200+ emails in my inbox at work.
Guh.
But before I do that ...
Happy Blogaversary to me,
Happy Blogaversary to me,
Happy Blogaversary to The Single Girl,
Happy Blogaversary to me,
That's right, one year ago yesterday I posted on a blog for the very first time. Who would have thunk that I would make it a year?
TSG
I’m going to meet his Mother, today, in a few hours. I am terrified and excited. Not much more to say ... well at least until after I meet her. Yikes!
Well actually there is more to say. We have had a fabulous weekend together. And I said a lot of the things that I wanted to tell him before he left and he didn't leave, or freak out or get all mushy, he just listened mostly.
And I finally got to talk to the long lost OQB this morning as the SSM listened and made funny faces while we shared our stories of the past few months. It was hilarious, and great and the perfect way to enjoy my coffee on a Sunday morning. Thank OQB!
Must find the perfect - I just pulled this out of my closet without thinking about the fact that I am going to meet your mother - outfit.
Wish me Luck.
xo
The Single Girl
***Warning***
This is only a portion of the long conversation we had today. And the language has been partcially edited ... because there are some things that even I don't want to read on a blog ... Enjoy
OQB: gawd I think I’m getting gayer as I age...I’m LOVING pet shop boys right now
TSG: you are getting gayer with age like a good wine ...
OQB: hahahah i prefer cheese...not like smegma though
TSG: or moldy cheese ...ha! no wonder we are friends
OQB: oh and i recycled on Monday
TSG: who did you recycle with ...
OQB: dude named ____, he’s lost so much hair...awwww
TSG: that is sad, for both of you really
OQB: ohohohoh and he acquired a foot fetish. What’s up with the foot thing lately???
TSG: Feet are the new asshole
OQB: HAHAH THAT WAS PERFECT … feet the new asshole, I am going to use that tonight. Ohh and he gave me bruises/hickies on my armpits!!!!
TSG: k, so what we are saying is dude is weird
OQB: weird = hot! LOL … my armpits hurt
TSG: No … foot fuking + armpit hickies= weirdo … man I hope you don't get athletes dick…
OQB: OMG! I HAVENT THOUGHT OF THAT...(OQB walks into Drug Store...um yes..i need some foot powder...oh yes sir right here...YEYEY but i need it for my penis....Um excuse me...yes yes, you heard right.. my penis)
TSG: I am crying at my desk I am laughing so hard ... seriously people are going to wonder what is going on at my desk if I keep laughing like this
As I mentioned last week there is a married man currently hitting on me. The first time it happened I brushed it off because he was drunk at the time and I thought fine, whatever. After the initial incidence I talked to a mutual friend about she said “yeah he is like that. He likes to flirt with everyone. I am sure it was nothing.” At the time I said fair enough, I can chalk it up to being an innocent flirtation that I miss read, but I had this feeling that in fact he was kind of serious about the whole thing. I don’t know exactly how to describe it but I can tell the difference between a man who (or is willing to) cheats on his partner and one who is just a flirt – probably lots of people can – within 5 minutes of chatting with him. It is kinda spooky, but really helpful because I can very quickly move away from the letches before they hit me with an indecent proposal … but back to the story …
On Wednesday it was confirmed for me (by the afore mentioned friend) that the married man does indeed fool around, especially when he is working out of town. She then apologized for not believing me when I said he was trying to get me to go home with him the week before describing herself as an innocent who still likes to see the world with Rainbows and Butterflies – which was really amusing because she said it in a high pitched four year old voice.
Since discovering my instincts were right on the money I have done my best to steer clear of him outside of large groups of people. This morning I was dropping some things off in someone’ mailbox and I heard my name called and I turned around without thinking and there he was. I was cornered. “What can I do for you sir?” I asked – hoping he actually had a work related question. “Nothing” he replied, “I just wanted to say hello and good morning.” Then he proceeded to give me a hug and kiss me repeatedly on the neck. As quickly and politely as I could I extracted myself from his grip and went back to work. I think I actually shuttered a little as I walked away. As I said to GB in an email about the encounter, there is no emoticon to express what I am feeling right now.
Luckily Mr. Married Man is only around here for a few more weeks but I think I am going to have to reach into my bag o tricks and pull out a date for one of the upcoming events I know he will be at to get him off my back (or my neck as the case may be).
Tonight, beer and pizza then off to hit on a cute, straight and single bartender I met last week. Wish me luck.
In other news ... HAPPY BIRTHDAY OQB! I am sure you will party like you are twenty ;)
The Single Girl
Ps. Roomie sent me this link last week and I think it is really cool. Enjoy!
I can’t describe how excited I am to go home to the clan. My little brother arrived at my parents place three days ago and I have been jealous ever since. I have talked to him and the parental units at least twice a day since Saturday. Last night Lu and I were taunting the lady but it just wasn’t the same as actually being there to egg each other on and see the look on her face as we teased her.
It is going to be a big Christmas in my world. Everyone is coming home. I am sure regular readers have come to understand my love of a good party and that I do not generally fear the wrath of a hangover, but I am a little nervous about the size and scope of the holiday cheer that awaits me when I walk through the doors of the homestead. I learned to love parties (attending, throwing, crashing … you name it) from my parents and spending time with my party mentors is always a great time. Mix together a dash my friends, a pinch of their friends, a spoonful extended family, a dollop my one year old nephew and a heaping serving of alcohol and you have my recipe for a fantastic family holiday.
I just came to the realization that I haven’t turned on the TV in 3 days. Usually when I have the house to myself it is always on just for some noise, but for the past few days I have been too obsessed with both David Sedaris and various blog reading to even think of turning on the tube. For those that don’t know me, three days without even turning on the weather network is something akin to a miracle, or more realistically one of the signs of the apocalypse. I am now determined not to turn it on before I leave town – which is tomorrow so it shouldn’t be hard.
Other things I contemplated writing about and may in the future but just couldn’t fit in today:
Love and Egg Nog for all – if that’s your thing
The Single Girl
In a recent conversation with OGB (Original Gay Boyfriend) he told me while he loves being referred to on this site especially with an acronym, he needed me to know that he self identifies as Queer as oppose to Gay. Okay I said I will now refer to you on the site as OQB (Original Queer Boyfriend).
The original acronym almost made OQB sound like an OBGYN so this change is probably a good thing. Now his title makes him sound like some sort of strange quarterback.
So there you are OQB, as promised I changed your name and devoted an entry to you – which I am sure you feel is only right.
Loves ya Babes! And the rest you fabulous babies that read!
xo
The Single Girl or (TSG)
What can I say … I am living the dream and tasting the magic, or at least that was the saying of the weekend. Friday I took the afternoon of work to spend time with friends (Original Gay Boyfriend and The Loud Girl) in town visiting for the weekend. We managed to stay out of the bar until around 3pm. Which all things considered I think was really a show of restraint on our part.
We hit the pub to enjoy an afternoon mid cocktail after all our hard work shopping. We were quickly joined by more friends for more cocktails and lots of laughs. With a cold beer and my brand new cowboy hat - I know what you are thinking, but it was a gift and looks fantastic. Truly you have to believe me - I embraced 30.
After 5 pints of beer, a Sicilian kiss bought for me by Loud Girl we came home for a disco nap before heading off to the club for the night. Apparently when I got home my parents called, but to be honest I couldn't tell you what was said after happy birthday. Mom, as always I am making you proud.
So after the nap we got dressed for the club and listen to Sexy Back (my current guilty pleasure song). I have to take a break from the story to properly thank my parents for the lovely birthday gift they bought me ... a corset. Now it is not like they sent it in the mail, they just sent money but I saw, while window shopping Friday afternoon and was offered a 15% discount because it was my birthday. Could you say no ... I didn't think so. So in my new very tasteful corset we headed off to the club.
We met up Mr. Awesome and his best friend at the door to the club. (Who is Mr. Awesome? He would be … well ... ummm … the flavour of the month). After a short 10 minute wait we got into the club, but not before overhearing some guy offer the door man $2000.00 to jump the line. Two Grand, if I have that kind of money kicking around I would not use it that way, there are way better clubs to bribe a doorman at. Inside the DJ was playing funk and disco which was perfect for my mood. So with a beer in one hand and a vodka and cranberry in the other I hit the dance floor with Mr. Awesome. We had a great time and everyone was buying me drinks, birthdays can be so good.
By about 1am it was clear to Awesome and I that it was time for us to go back to my house for some alone time so we said our goodbyes (I think) and headed home. Now I am not a prude but I think some things are better left to the imagination, but if you need a bit of direction it was awesome. Saturday morning was, well awesome again. But I then had to say my goodbyes to Mr. Awesome as it was off to a party in the mountains!
I woke up Original Gay Boyfriend (OGB), piled our hungover asses into the car and we hit the road to find the next party.
I truly believe that road trips are not something you can do with everyone in your life but OGB and I are great travel companions. I am the driver and he is the DJ and photographer. It was a perfect afternoon, we had an ipod full of music, a few tourist towns and the open road to guide us. We stopped 4 times to chew the scenery, get OGB some new shots for his manline profile (which are totally hot btw) and grab a bite. After our 5 hour road trip we found the grounds, pulled up a log by the fire and cracked a beer.
As the sun went down into the mountains the DJ began to play and we watched the trees light up and the disco ball begin to spin. Over the course of the evening 5 or 6 different DJs played for the crowd. We danced for a while, sat by the fire for a bit and met some fellow partiers, watched some fire spinning (or poi as the kids call it) at midnight, laid in the hammock (yes there was a hammock) and watched the dance floor and the stars swing by. At about 4:30 it began to rain so we decided to pack it in for the night and climbed into the car put the seats down and had a nap.
I woke up at about 8am, climbed out of the car to find the final DJ still playing and about 15 people still dancing. I grabbed an apple out of the car and watched the last few minutes of the party and again woke up the OGB (I wonder how much he hates that) and we hit the road to come home. The drive back was much more subdued then the drive there, but with only about 3 hours sleep it was bound to happen.
OGB and I arrived back in the city at around 1pm and spent the afternoon lying around the house telling stories, eating cupcakes and laughing with Gay Boyfriend and Loud Girl, you know your average Sunday afternoon. Then it was time to go to bed early as I had to be an adult in the morning. Ick.
Now if that isn’t keeping the dream alive, I don’t know what is!
Kisses
The Single Girl
Every single girl should have at least one gay boyfriend. I have myself have two, Original Gay Boyfriend and Gay Boyfriend. Don’t worry they know about each other, we enjoy a healthy polyamorous relationship – don’t hear that often. Both of them will be here this weekend which is why I am dedicating a post to them. I haven't seen either one of them in months and I can hardly contain my excitement.
What makes a good GB you ask? Well a couple of things for me anyway;
Why is it when you do something like get a blog dedicated to “keeping the dream alive” that your life slows to an unbelievable halt and all you seem to do is work, workout and sleep.
A week before I started this blog I was drinking like some sort of frat boy - no seriously I was at a keg party a week ago, meeting new people, dancing until the wee hours of the morning and now, I am working 12 hours a day almost everyday this week. I have to be honest this isn’t how I imagined my blogging life would be.
People are actually talking near my desk about the drama of a paper cut. I need to get out of here soon and do something remotely interesting.
I promise I will be debaucherous all weekend long, the Original Gay Boyfriend (OGB) is coming to town so it should be a gay ole’ time – sorry that was just plain bad. But I do promise to have more interesting things to contribute to the internet next week.
TSG
Ps. I have fixed the comments section so now anyone can send me comments
