Too Busy to Share

I realize the blog is less than stellar this week but I am busy. Sorry.

Here are the posts I started and abandon because I haven’t had time this week to really focus and write something worth reading.

Taking Cougar to a Whole New Level
- This is the story of how a three year old tried to make out with me after I helped him to clean cupcake off his face by licking it off. I had to let him down gently and distract him with toys.

The Art of a Good Wager
- Just a little random piece about how I love to make a bet, for as little as a nickel and as much as dinner and a bottle of wine. It just makes life more interesting. If you don’t do it, you should try it.

The Summer Blockbuster
- Umm … yeah … so deep down (well maybe not so deep) I love a good action flick with lots of cheesy dialogue and a good geeky love story and a happy ending.

Digging up the Dirt
- CMG and the SSM work at the same place and I am still waiting for dirt. I don’t think I will find out anything scandalous but a little dirt could be fun.

And that, as they say, is all she wrote.

xo
The Single Girl

And on the Third Day ...

... the bunny rose again so all the little children could have chocolate.

Actually this bunny rose again so GB, CMG and I could enjoy him for lunch on Friday.

We went to the bakery and they had these bunnies made from croissant dough and baked with an actual egg, so we had to get one. We asked the woman if she has a box for the bunny so we didn't crush the egg and she gave us the box you see there and she said "isn't that nice the bunny has a bed." "Looks more like a coffin to me" I replied and she stared at me as though I were demented or something. Seriously, tell me that doesn't look like a coffin.

Happy Easter all!

The Single Girl

Mamas

So over the past two days I have received three fabulous packages in the mail from some of my mamas. One package from my actual biological mother, one package from my mom’s college roommate whom I also call mama and one from the yaya that I am named after. All three are wonderful women and they have sent wonderful little gifts.

I have to be honest though my favourite things in the packages are the olive mesh arm warmers from one of the ya-ya’s. They will be perfect accessories for the fetish night I am attending in two weeks. As always your ya-ya timing is impeccable. I will do my best to get a picture to the ya-yas in my full outfit for that evening.

Also sent were some dresses from my past in a hope that one of them would work for my upcoming Christmas excursion with Awesome. Well I am ecstatic to report that the dress my mom sent is perfect for the party according to all. It is red velvet and according the CMG it is the perfect naughty elf outfit. The best part is that it is a dress I bought in highschool, and it fits! I think I will have to kiss my trainer tomorrow.

Must run. Today is GB champagne birthday and there is celebrating to do.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GB!

The Single Girl

Ps. Here is a picture of us preparing Absinthe on Saturday night in the sultan’s tent. In case you ever wondered how it was done ...

50/50

Going to a gay rodeo dance is always fun, but selling 50/50 tickets at the gay rodeo dance is a blast. How did I end up selling 50/50 ticket you ask? Well GB and I were checking out some guys with CMG and wondering how to get GB a little closer to said boys and CMG suggested we sell 50/50 tickets as a ploy to meet new people.

Everyone knows what a 50/50 draw is right? No? Well is it a fundraising scheme where you get people to buy raffle tickets and at the end of the night 50% of the proceeds go to the charity and 50% go to the winner, so the more people you have to participating the better the money. Last month the prize was $180.00 … but that was actually 2 months worth of 50/50 sales. Yes people there are Rodeo dances every month.

Anyway GB and I thought this was a great idea so we got our supplies went around the dance floor and the bar room selling to all the boys. He had the roll of tickets and I had the ticket bucket and the money. He was offering an arms length of tickets for 5.00 and an inseam for 10.00, and the boys could choose who’s inseam they would like their own or GB’s. It was hilarious to watch men measuring GB’s inseam for what seemed an usually long time for one simple measurement. We made lots friends and chatted up all the boys. We even recruited a very cute guy named Rick to help us out with our sales and CMG made sure we always had cocktails.

After about an hour of being the trusty side kick, taking money, ripping tickets and staying in the background our new friend Rick handed me the roll of tickets and took the money bag and the bucket and said “umm … she wants you.” I have to admit I hadn’t been paying attention for a few minutes but I looked up and I saw this woman smiling at me with her arms out. Of course I thought … GB for the boys and me for the girls … it all makes so much sense now. So I happily measured her arm length – cheap woman would not shell out for an inseam – and all of a sudden all of the girls started coming out to get tickets … get it … coming out … it’s funny shut up!

Anyway at 1am when we did the draw the prize was $165.00! GB and I patted our selves on the back for a job well done and the organizers thanked us profusely and asked when we could come back again. GB and I said it would be a few months but we will do it again in the winter when we are both in town and available. We might get to sell shooters next time around. I even convinced the winner that he should buy us each a cocktail next time we were there as a thank you. All in all it was a great night even if there was no Rick Astley.

The Single Girl

Working Hard

One year and three months ago tomorrow I quit smoking. For those of you that have smoked you know how hard it is to quit, especially early on in the non smoking process. About one year, two months and two weeks ago I was at a party, drinking heavily and was complaining that all I wanted was a cigarette. Everyone around me was encouraging and told me that I could do it, just have a glass of water, blah blah blah and GB promised that if I could get to three months he would make me a fabulous dinner.

Well I have made it to one year and three months and I will be having the meal of a lifetime tomorrow evening. GB has been tolling away in the kitchen for a few hours now and I have been very good and stayed out of the way. He wants it to be a surprise, but that is kind of tough as we live in the same house, but I am really trying.

I have noticed a bottle of sparkling wine in the fridge and a new bottle in the wine rack – but I am not looking at it I swear – Okay from here I think it is port but I won’t go look. I even cleaned, dusted and vacuumed my room as a way to distract myself. I promise faithful readers that will share everything about the dinner on Monday.

In other news GB has his Champagne birthday later this month – where the date you were born and the age you are turning are the same – and we decided today that we are going to throw a house party next week. I love our house parties, partially because they are fun and it is a great way to see everyone we know but, also because the last two times we have had parties at the house I have picked up. Now there is no guarantee that this will happen again, and really it should be GB because it is his birthday but the possibility for either one of us to get some at a house party is so much fun to think about.

Must run for now as GB, CMG and I are going to a gay rodeo dance this evening. It is always a good time and I don’t know anywhere else that you can hear Rick Astley, Trisha Yearwood and Kelly Clarkson all in one night, heck you can hear that all in one hour. Now where is my Stetson …

Kisses

TSG

Robert's Rules

Last night Chatty Male Girlfriend (CMG) came by the house for some wine and pizza with GB, Roomie and I. We managed to drink four bottles of wine, eat 3 pizzas and make tonight’s dinner, which is a very productive evening if you ask me. We also kept the evening’s various topics of conversation under control by requesting the floor from the chair (CMG last night). The chair would recognize agenda items from the floor and even took time to rearrange the agenda when speakers had to leave for phone calls or other important distractions.

It was a really civilized way to make sure all important topics – such as boyfriends, new computers, new homes, the next bottle of wine, Awesome updates, engagement brunches, holiday plans and general gossip - were all addressed over the course of the evening. It is also silly fun to have the chair recognize The Single Girl now has the floor and GB’s new computer will be next on the agenda.

I am glad we voted down opening the fifth bottle of wine as four was quite enough for the crowd. Thanks CMG for being such a good chair, you may have the position at every meeting we have.

The Single Girl

Pod-o-licious

I am now the proud owner of an ipod nano. I spent most of my Sunday copying music from cd, to my computer and soon it will all go on the ipod. It was a long purchase process and I must thank CMG for driving me all over the city to look at different pods, and checking prices but it was all worth it.

An actual quote as we left the store …

CMG: So are you happy? Do you like your new ipod

TSG: Do I like? If it vibrated I wouldn’t leave the house!

Hail Caesar!

So I went out cocktailing on Friday night with my Chatty Male Girlfriend (CMG) - everyone wants a cool nickname … who knew it was so catchy.

So we decided to go to the new trendy – read expensive – bar in town. We were only going to stay for one 12 dollar cocktail each but not long after we sat down I noticed that "Caesar" was sitting in the corner. Caesar was with a group of friends a Roman Soldier, Cleopatra, a Cat nad some other less than inventive people with out costumes. Caesars costume was perfect right down to the sandles and the crown of gold leaves. I was in a Betty Page wig and felt flirty. CMG agreed with my assessment of Caesar and encouraged me to "hit that."

There are things in the realm of dating that I think I am good at. I can catch a man’s eye look awas and look back so he knows I think he is cute. I can time a trip to the bathroom just right so I am walking towards it as he is walking away so we can say hello and I can come up with a witty comment to start a conversation. What I am no good a closing the deal. Unlike my gay friends I just don’t know how to eloquently say let’s get out of here, or do you want my number?

So for about an hour, and an extra 12 dollar cocktail I did my best flirt. I caught his eye repeatedly. I made the perfect move toward the bathroom and we exchanged hellos, I even had a brief but cute chat about his costume with him. But no closer. He and his friends left the bar and didn’t even get a number. CMG was very disappointed, but really I wasn’t out to pick up so it was okay.

After Caesar left the bulding CMG and I wisely left the expensive bar and hit the pub for some more “cock”tails and pizza to sop up some of the martinis we just consumed. At the end of the night we almost hit a third bar for fun, but as we walked up to the door a very young ( i.e. under 20) androgynous person came out of the bar with a skateboard in hand and bad pop came out of the bar. We looked at each other and said Maybe Not. So I hailed a cab and smartly went home to sleep in my own bed without shame or regret.