Update from the road

He sent me an email last night.

The Subject line was I have to tell you ...

And the body of the email said

I miss your lips.


Not bad at all, I say.

xo
TSG

ps. so far I have no witty nickname for this one. I think another date is in order before it will conjure in my brain.

Just when I was about to quit online dating

Thursday night I went on a coffee “date” with Mr. Polamory - a man with a wife, a girlfriend and an online dating profile. His wife has both a girlfriend and a boyfriend. Bit of a web of lovers and partners but I have never been one to shy away from complication so I agreed to meet him. In emails and chats we had lots to talk about and made each other laugh with our witty banter so I had high hopes that we would make a connection and form a friendship if not something more.

The date was underwhelming. We grabbed tea and headed off for a walk along the river. He was a bit nervous and shifty and when the conversation stopped for more than a few seconds he would often fill the silence by saying “murr” a habit that within the 90 minutes we spent together became quite annoying. The date ended fine, with a hug and I’ll see you later but I didn’t care if I ever saw him again as there was no spark, no “zsa zsa zoom” to quote Sex and the City.

I woke up Friday and contemplated getting rid of my online dating profile because I realized after two failed dates that I don’t really care about dating right now and pursuing men I am vaguely interested in (at best) is a very silly pursuit. I was about to leave my office around 5:30 to get ready for an evening work event and I broke my rule about not checking the site and work only to find I had a message from a guy; a cute and older man (well older than me) who manages my local organic grocery store. His message was sweet and simple telling me he liked my profile and thought I was cute and hoped I thought he was interesting enough to answer his message.

I decided I should go home and respond from there. I sent him a quick note saying I was interested but that I was leaving town the next morning so we probably wouldn’t have a chance to talk until I got back. He replied very quickly to find out if I could meet that very evening. I was in a rush to head back to work but I asked him if I could call him around 10pm when I was done work. He gave me his number and we left it at that.

I arrived home at the end of a marathon day at about 10pm and called the man. He told me his address – about 2 blocks from my house and said I should pick him up. Now I am pretty new to online dating but from my perspective he was taking a bit of a risk. Oh well, his problem not mine. I picked him up and we headed to a local tapas bar and proceeded to have a great date. A real date, not an awkward coffee you have with someone whose profile you liked. A first date with stories and questions and little sparks of attraction and intrigue across the table.

We left around midnight and I walked him home, and then he walked me home. When we got to my door we started making plans for after I return from my business trip. I’ll call, or he will call, blah blah blah. He asked for a hug and we did and I kissed him on the cheek and then we kissed on the lips and then a few soft sweet kisses. I could feel his heart pounding through his chest as though he was a nervous twelve year old boy kissing a girl for the first time. It was so powerful I had to touch his chest with my hand.

“Okay, so Friday … what time do you finish work. I want to see you again.” He said almost breathlessly. “I will call you when I get back and we will make a plan. I finish work around five. We will work it out.” I replied and kissed him on more time before I headed into the house. Now I am at the airport – one of my favourite places to write blog posts - thinking about soft kisses and wondering what Friday will hold.

More next week.

xo
The Single Girl.

Ed. Note … I did write this post at the airport but didn’t get a chance to post it until this evening.

Oh Right, The Date

The date was lame, so lame it isn't even worth posting about.

I haven't left online dating yet, but I don't have a lot of hope.

More soon.

TSG

Seriously

I was online … minding my own business answering some more questions on this dating website and this guy starts chatting to me and in under 2 minutes asks if I would consider each of us peeing our pants.

SERIOUSLY … he didn’t even ask me my favourite books or movies, it was hi, how are you, what are you doing, hey I have this crazy idea … what would you think about each of us peeing in our pants tonight.

My response … Goodbye.

I have not quit online dating, yet. But if things don't improve in six days I am leaving.

More hilarious and disgusting stories soon.

TSG

Diving In and Jumping Out, and Diving In and Jumping Out

Over the weekend I was thinking about dating again, and blogging again as I haven’t done either in months. Blogging is easy, I just sit down and write a little blurb, go to blogger and poof! there it is. Dating is a bit more challenging generally speaking.

In an effort to stay away from men in my field of work I decided to try online dating, again. A different site this time as last time the results were awful and disastrous. The new site I went to was okay, but I forgot just how much online dating can be like going to a meat market club. There are a lot of men trying to pick up and some women just checking out the scene.

I haven’t finished the whole registration part yet, there are many questions and quizzes and essays to do in order to find a match. So far I find the pickings slim, a bunch of single dads have started talking to me, and people who pop up on IM and say, “you’re pretty” really aren’t my cup of tea. I am trying really hard not to be skeptical, but I don’t have a great deal of hope for the process.

I am resolved not quit until I have given the site at least a week to prove it isn’t a total waste of time.

One whole week. I swear.

… Sigh …

The Single Girl

Crossroads

I am sitting at work on a Saturday thinking about what to do next in my “relationship.” The internet is down here and I can’t get the work done I want to, so, why not write a blog to post later I say.

Last night was a rough night. The SSM and I were up until 3am chatting about the status of our relationship, but mostly about how he is thinking about his other relationship and that his feelings for what’s her name are getting more serious. There were a lot of things said, nothing heated or bad. He doesn’t seem to know how he feels about either of us and needs to sort that out, with us. I don’t think I want to stick around to find out how he feels.

I’ve been down this “feelings” road with the SSM it never turns out in my favour. He is a man looking to find himself and I know who I am and what I want these days. I took a big risk in doing this long distance poly thing. I had hoped that he would date and realize what I good thing we have. Turns out, there are other, more local people to have good things with. He hasn’t said he wants to end our relationship. He wants to work it out and figure out how he feels and potentially keep things at status quo. I want to run for the hills, or run up the white flag and admit defeat. So far I am not doing anything.

It is kind of ironic, I was thinking not three days ago about writing a post about how all of my relationships seem to end before the two year mark. I can’t seem to make that leap to longer commitment with someone. I had hoped this time would be a change, we will see. I shouldn’t be pessimistic but I don’t think the chances are very good. The crux of the matter is, I refuse to become the secondary partner, it is moving backwards. If he has feelings and she is there for the two of them to explore together it leaves little opportunity for me to maintain my emotional relationship with him.

We are going to talk tomorrow, as I don’t have to work (much), and hopefully will have had more sleep so I don’t make any rash decisions or burst into tears.

I will try to keep you posted as the events unfold.

The Single Girl

The New Guy

Last week in the middle of the week the new guy (who has been dubbed BPOD by Fireboy, GB and Roomie but that is a story for another day) and I finally went out. It wasn’t your typical first date, but I am not your typical date kinda girl.

He picked me up at around 9pm in his work truck and we went back to his place so he could have a shower – as he had just come from work. This gave me a chance to snoop around his apartment for a bit and see what kind of guy I was potentially getting involved with. He has a beautiful old piano, a bunch of books about Taoism and Buddism, a MAC and a really clean condo. So far, so good.

We had planned to go for a walk around his neighbourhood for so once he was ready we headed out. We wandered side streets looking at old homes, big trees and landscaping and talked about your average getting to know you stuff. WE came across a park and went for a swing and talked about swings and playgrounds and games we played as children. By the time we wandered out of the park I was pretty sure he wasn’t going to kiss me. I couldn’t decide if he just wasn’t attracted to me or if the knowledge of another man just wasn’t his thing, but either way, I didn’t see a kiss in my future. Which was fine he was (is) still a fascinating man to talk to and spend time with.

We continued on down the road and came to a large park where he told me there was a pool. He told me that the pool was quite warm and that last weekend he had broken in and gone for a swim. “You mentioned earlier that you like to climb trees. How do you feel about climbing fences?” He asked looking at the top of the fence. “Pretty good, really.” I replied and we both hopped the fence**. “Wanna go for a swim? The water is really warm.” He asked. My outside voice said “Umm … is only like 10 degrees out and really windy. I am not sure that is a good idea.” My inside voice said “Ummm … get naked with you, I don’t think so. I am way to self conscious and nervous for that.” Luckily he agreed that it was a little to cold, instead we rolled up our jeans and stuck our feet in the warm pool. We chatted some more and looked at the stars and then he kissed me. And we kissed for a while with our feet dangling in the pool and the stars looking on from above.

We decided it was getting cold – and cold concrete isn’t the greatest surface for good kissing - and put our shoes on and headed out of the pool. We wandered around the fence to find the best place to go back over, as we had both ripped our jeans on the way in, and we found a two foot hole at the bottom of the fence and opted to climb through there, lest we rip our jeans any further. We went to his place got the keys to his truck and he drove me back to my house. We parked outside and started to say goodbye.

Truck, might not be the best description of what he was driving, it was a cargo van for delivering stuff, so it was big. We turned our knees inward to the space between the seats and kissed goodbye, for about 5 minutes. I remarked at some point that this vehicle was not ideal for a goodnight kiss. He agreed and soon after pointed out that he would like to stretch out and looked to the back of the truck. I laughed out loud said no way am I lying down in the back of a cargo van and pointed out to him that we are both adults and no longer need to do things like make out in a truck as we both have our own homes with couches and beds, and asked if he would like to come in for a bit.

He came in, met the dog, was re introduced to GB and then we went hung out and kissed a little more. At about 12:30 I told him I had to kick him out as I had a long day the next day and I walked him to the door. We kissed goodbye and he said “I will see you later” and I said, “Yeah, that would be great, when would you like to do that?” His response “I don’t know … I really don’t know.” And he stood there looking very puzzled “Alright, you think about that and call me when you have some idea.” I said with a laugh and closed the door.

Not a perfect end, but an interesting date, and even with that vague goodbye I think there will be another date.

The Single Girl

The Date

Well … what can I say … it wasn’t really a date, more of a pre date. You know the time that you go out and get to know each other a little, see if there are any sparks, swap some stories, and that sort of thing. The evening ends with a hug not a kiss, you agree you should “hang out” again soon but no one ever uses the word date or acts too much like it is one … in case it isn’t.

There were a few fun and funny moments over the course of the evening. At one point he said to me, “Really all I want is to find a girl I can wake up beside in the morning and say, are you as hung over as I am.” I could, and have been that girl I thought. But I wisely didn’t respond with that, instead I said, “You know iDate, you and I could become good friends.” And we clinked glasses. He also offered to buy me beers for the next month in order to help me afford yet another pair of boots I want. I respectfully declined, letting him know that I really need to curb my boot habit for the time being, but what an offer! And finally at one point as I was telling some story he said “Wow, you are so much cooler than I thought you were!” “Umm … thanks … I think” “No that’s not what I meant, I just mean I didn’t know you so I didn’t know you were cool. I am not making this better am I.” “ I know what you are trying to say. And thanks.”

I don’t really know about the spark stuff. I kinda felt it, but I am not sure if he did. He is one of those really nice guys who has lots of friends so it can be difficult to tell if he is just being buddy buddy or if there was something else. I hope we get to go out drinking again, because even if there isn’t anything romantic there, I did have a good time and am always happy to find a new drinking buddy.

So there you have it, the lovely date (or predate) with iDate. More to come … I hope.

The Single Girl

I Am Not an Animal

I didn’t have a date with iDate last night. He canceled a few hours before, saying he was tired and hadn’t had a day off in a long time and was worried that he wouldn’t be good company because he felt like a bump on a log. It sort of sucked when I read the message but really, I needed to go home and pack for my business trip so I wasn’t devastated. He did tell me to call him when I get back from my trip and we will go out then … his treat since he canceled, so it isn’t all bad.

To be honest … I am sort of glad we canceled because it was so cold here yesterday that I got FROST BITE ON MY EARLOBE and wasn’t feeling all that attractive. Hopefully by next week my ear won’t hurt or look like it should be amputated. Seriously dudes - when GB looked at it and grimaced I said your look says “wow, maybe that should be amputated. Hmm, would that make it look better or worse.” “Yeah, well I do have a sharp pair of scissors in my desk drawer…” “Not cool man, not cool.” Lord knows if I did go out last night I would have shared that brief exchange and shown off my grotesque, mutated ear and scared the poor man off before he got to know my softer side. I can just see him politely telling me he has an early morning running from the pub with a slightly disturbed look on his face and me screaming “I am not an animal.”

Sometimes my inability to keep my life and thoughts to myself can get me in trouble with people I don’t know very well. That makes this blog a good outlet, I can tell all of you about the pain, redness and blister on my ear and leave the nice topics to the people I meet out in the world.

Speaking of which … I am on a business trip, time to go out and do some business.

xo

TSG

It might be a Date … but as usual I am not sure

On Tuesday I am going for beer and pizza with the new man (he needs a better name … but this is all I have right now). He gave me his old ipod so I offered to take him out as a thank you because he wouldn’t take my money. He liked the idea and we hatched a plan to take him to a bar he has never been to – and one of my favs.

Yesterday I had to stop by his place to grab the adaptor for the ipod and we chatted flirtily (I think I just made up a word) for a bit while GB waited in the car. A good sign that I might be headed into a date, but anyone who reads this blog regularly knows that I am a terrible judge of dates. Date or no date I am looking forward to hanging out with the new man.

Add another log to the complication pile.

The Single Girl

The return of the Vodka Source, the New Man and the Missing Piece of the Puzzle

Tonight I have a “date” with the Vodka Source. My evenings out with him have always proven to be alcohol fueled and full of fun. Tonight we are going to behave by seeing a play and not meeting for cocktails before. I have the gym in the morning so I am hoping that will be inspiration enough to stop me from having more than two drinks after the show. Sadly, I doubt it as we have been trying to get together for a date for over a month now. I think we will end up drinking and talking until quite late as we often do.

The new man is a man I have sort of known for a year or so through work circles but up until recently have never really talked to. A few weeks ago we were out with a large group and ended up sitting and drinking at the bar together while to a live band. We started talking about music and he ended up offering me his old ipod (because I lost mine over Christmas) and to make me a playlist of some of his favourite tunes. I still don’t have the ipod, or the playlist, but I think once I finally get them I will offer to take him for a beer to say thanks and to continue the conversation.

The Missing piece of the puzzle, that is a little more complicated than the other two. Back in the summer Mr. Awesome introduced me to one of his ex girlfriends and we ended up hitting it off and have sense become very good friends. We have lunches, dinners, drinks and sleepovers. We seem to always have things to say to one another and often end up talking for hours when we are only suppose to have one drink.

On New Year’s Eve she and I ended up snuggled up in front of the fireplace facing one another, holding hands and talking. Nothing happened but she and I are both very aware that there is a degree of tension between us. GB likes to call her my “girlfriend” and both of our mothers have pointed out that we have become fast fast friends. I don’t think anything would ultimately happen between us as neither one of us are really interested in girls, she is back together with her boyfriend and me, I have a small harem of men and boys on my mind, but it is a new thing for me, tension with a female friend.

I just thought you all should know that the SSM and Fireboy don’t take up all the room in my brain, there are a few other complications orbiting around right now as well.

Here’s hoping your mind is a bit less full my faithful readers.

xo

The Single Girl

If I could commit to TSG by Fireboy and the SSM

Where do I start … the week was great. The boys and I went to theatre and music shows, stayed up until the wee hours talking about our life plans, made meals, Went for drinks and pizza, I went to work during the day and they played at home … all in all we had a wonderful time together and the roomies had fun with us too.

On their last day at the house the boys decided it would be nice to do the dishes for me and the roomies as a thank you for the hospitality. Not long into their good deed they discovered the drain was broken and went from dishwashers to amateur plumbers. While having adventures in plumbing each boy talked about what their life could be like if they could commit to me. They admitted to having pangs of jealousy about my relationship to the other and why right now a relationship won’t work. Then they each talked to me.

Fireboy told me that currently things are too complicated but, that in a different time and place he would like to pursue a relationship with me. He likes me and my style and the focus I have for my career and friends. After two years of being lovers and now friends, he has a crush on me.

The SSM told me he doesn’t know what to do with me. At times he feels guilty for keeping me around. He feels selfish for keeping me around because I make him feel good and that right now he can’t commit to the potential of what this could be.

I told Fireboy that I was extremely flattered and that in a different time and place I would like to see where this relationship could go as well, but for now, being friends has to be the focus. To the SSM I said, whether he believes he can or not, he is already in a relationship with me. I then told him that I like things as they are between us and for now a casual long distance relationship is all I can handle.

What does this all mean? I have no idea, but it is pretty flattering, confusing and complicated. I think I need a few days to sort through all the words, thoughts and emotions expressed over the past week.

The Single Girl

Ps. For you voyeuristic readers the SSM slept with me and Fireboy was on the couch. Oh and the drain is still clogged.

I can’t decide if this healthy

Earlier this week when Awesome and I were having lunch he informed me that we (He and I) should do one of those singles dating things.

“What are you talking about?” I inquired.
“You know one of those events where there are a bunch of single people in a room having drinks and getting to know each other. There is one this Thursday.”
“Ummm … I’m not really sure about that.”
“Yeah Thursday is too soon, but we should totally do it.”
“Yeah, Thursday is too soon, but that isn’t my only concern. Did you forget that I am six years older than you? Generally, these things have age groups put together. Check the appropriate age box. I have a feeling we wouldn’t be in the same dating box … so to speak.”
“Listen, let me worry about what box I go into …”
“Yeah, I will. And eww ... Why do I have a feeling this isn’t a good idea.”
“What are you talking about. This is a great idea!”
“I will think about it.”
“We are totally going to do this.”

So now I am left wondering, is our ability to go on a singles excursion where we look for possible mates a sign of a very healthy friendship, or SO healthy that it is unhealthy. I can’t tell anymore.

Either way I think it is good that I am willing to entertain going on a date, even if Awesome is there.

The Single Girl

Patterns

After meeting the Lady and spending an evening in a small town with two wonderful women talking about life, love, religion, politics, etc. Fireboy was compelled to ask me about my patterns in dating as I drove him back to the city.

He wanted to know all about my dating past and patterns. Why did I date unavailable men and what I can do to consciously change as I move forward in the dating world. Maybe all I needed to do was think about what I was doing as I began dating someone new, or maybe try a dating service where I could meet single men in their 30s that are looking for a relationship now that they have established their careers.

Now, many many many people have tried to have this conversation with me. Most end up getting an earful from me essentially saying … don’t you think I would change these patterns if I could, or why do I have to be in a couple to be happy, or the classic, Who the hell do you think you are to tell me what to do in my dating life! But, as I was driving and knew that these words were somehow connected to his wonderful time in the small town and knowing that the reunion with the SSM was a short one, that he really does just want to see me happy and the fact that he had never tried to “convert” me to the couple way of life before I let him talk and didn’t say much at all.

I have now been home for almost three days and I have managed to slide back into all my old comfortable relationship patterns. Morning coffee with Roomie, emails and lunches with Awesome, two pints with GB, walking, coffee breaks with my favourite coworkers, emails with the Lady and so on. It is nice to be able to slide right back into my usual routine at home and at work, but it does get me to thinking I will continue with the dating pattern here at home? Unavailable men, blue eyed assholes, and so on. Probably, it is what I know and am as comfortable with that pattern as I am with the rest of them. I would hate to change any of my other patterns, so this bad one might just have to stick around for a while as I settle back into life.

Shh … don’t tell Fireboy.

TSG

ps. The regular pattern also includes more regular posting, so that's good.

Once Upon A Time ...

There was a single girl who traveled to the land of online dating to see if she could find a prince or at the very least a man. She roamed the land in search of a prince and came upon three dates.

The first date was no man but a troll who barely spoke and had no manners. So the girl ran away before he dragged her to the bridge he lived under to make her spend the rest of her days catering to his every whim.

On the second date she met a toad. He took her places and showed her some hidden treasures in the land of online dating. She thought this toad isn’t bad, I could have fun with him. The toad thought the girl was fun as well and convinced her that if she “kissed him” he would become a prince. She took him at his word and gave him a little kiss but instead of changing into a prince the toad became an ogre and scared the girl away. As she fled the ogre and the land of online dating she ran smack dab into an elfish man who picked her up and carried her safely away from the trolls and ogres to a small castle in the city and she thought no more of date number three or the land of online dating.

Some time later the elfish man left for a mission in a far of desert land. The elfish man told the girl he must leave and might never be back so she should move on with her life and find happiness with another elf or man. For many days and many nights the girl hid in her tower and thought of nothing but the elfish man.

Then one day she looked out her window and saw the third date from the land of online dating far off in the distance. As she looked into the distance she could not tell if he was an orge, troll, man or prince but she was a bit to scared of the orge and the troll to venture out of her tower and find out. So she sat squinting her eyes for days and days wondering what sort of creature the third one was.


Umm … that is where our story ends because the single girl doesn’t know what to do now. Door number three is still around on my messenger (unlike the other two) and told me if I ever became single I should send him a message, but after the first two experiences, I am not sure I want to take the chance on the third.

TSG

Once More, With Feeling ….

At the end of what can only be described as one of the worst days of work I have experienced I got a text from the SSM asking me if I wanted to have dinner. I accepted of course, partially because I wanted to see him and partially because I was hoping he was going to tell me he wanted to try to make this work.

It was a bit confusing for the first part of dinner he was all hand holdy and looking me in the eye and saying he had plans for me and he was only a plane ride away and then we started talking about our chat the night before I and said I was confused. I told him that I thought I had gotten my walking papers the night before but now I wasn’t sure. He sat silent for a long time before he told me that I was right, I was in fact dumped the night previous. Then he welled up and said that I was great and this is great but that he can’t handle a relationship right now. And sitting there holding his hand in my local pub I looked him right in the eye and said “You’re an Idiot.”

We left the restaurant and walked to the park and talked a little more.

“Why did you ask me what I needed last night?” I inquired after a long silence.
“Because if it was something I could do I would do it. And if it was something I couldn’t well at least I would know.”
“All I need you to do is try, but you aren’t willing to do that.”
“No I can’t. But really, TSG, if we tried we would probably end up hurting each other more.”
“You’re probably right” I said and he looked at me like see, this is for the best. “But I was willing to take that chance.”

And that was it. There was nothing more to say. We got up and walked back to my house in silence. He meandered at the door for a while looking sad and sorry and defeated. “Go, have fun. There is a party waiting for you” I said. He looked at me and mumbled something about hating to see me hurt and not wanting to go. “You know you can come back, you know where the keys are if you need to see me. You know you will see me tomorrow at your going away party. So go have fun. I will be fine. You will be fine.” And with that he left. After the door closed I crumbled into tears on the floor of the kitchen for about ten minutes.

Tonight is his party and I can’t decide what to do. The roomies have both offered to do what ever I need or want to do. They will come with me to the party or they will take me somewhere else, or they will sit with me at home. It is his last night in town and part of me wants to say goodbye, but most of me doesn’t have the emotional energy to see him and do this and feel this all again tonight.

Who would have thought this guy would be hurting me and making me weepy?

Certainly not me.

The Single Girl

Bye Bye Baby

Last night the SSM and I finally had the talk. You know the one where you look each other in the eyes and admit that he is moving across the county. I wish I could tell you that we have decided to drop everything and just make this work, but we aren’t. He is moving and needs to start his life there. I am not moving and need to continue to live my life here. What does all that mean? Starting Friday I will officially be The Single Girl again.

It was kind of funny I said I wanted to talk about what was going to happen now and he said, in a slightly whiny tone “I don’t want to deal with this right now; I want to talk about it on Thursday.” To which I responded … right, Thursday when we are both fueled by alcohol and the heightened emotions of saying goodbye to everyone. I don’t think so, we need to talk now. After a bit of hesitation he told me this is the most functional relationship that he has ever been and that I have taught him what he is worth, that he deserves respect, what a relationship can and should be like and that moving forward no matter what happens he will take this experience with him for the rest of his life. What do you say to that but Wow (which is what I said).

He asked me what I needed and I told him I didn’t need anything and that what I wanted doesn’t really matter because he has already made up his mind. I told him that I was falling for him and then wished I could bolt out of the room, but we were at my house, so what can you do. We both said we never meant for this to happen, it was only supposeot be a fling but here we are.

We talked until very late and decided very little. I don’t know what to tell you dreamers, I am a bit dazed and hurt but not at all surprised. The good news for you folks is very soon this blog will go back to living the dream and stop being a sounding board for my doomed summer fling.

…but not quite yet …

xo

The Single Girl

Finding the Balance

When I start dating someone and things seem to be going well I do a pretty good job of sabotaging things in my own head. One of my classic errors is that I want too much time from the object of my affection and when they don’t want to spend time with me 24/7 I get frustrated and leave, or start seeing someone else, or in the worse cases I push it down pretend I don’t want to be near them and just make myself crazy seem uninterested and then they leave.

Right now, with the SSM – who isn’t a boyfriend but is definitely becoming someone I like to spend my time with - I am trying to remember to keep balance in my life. My full, rich, keeping the dream alive life that involves spending time with lots of people and having many adventures. For years now I have been a woman who doesn’t have or need a boy to spend time with – and I seem to do alright (read blog for further evidence.) Right now I just have to remember that for two reasons 1. I do not want to be one of those people that gets into a (dare I say it) relationship and abandons their friends for months at a time and 2. I strive for balance in the rest of my life, so I should find it in this part to. Some days it is easy to remember, other days it is hard, but I am working on it. I think if I can figure this and a few other small things out, I may be on the road to having a relationship again … someday.

Baby steps people! It is all about baby steps.

TSG

Ps. I know I promised a story about last weekend, but everytime I try to write it down, the words aren’t flowing. I might do the Coles notes version soon, but we will see.

Surprisingly Satisfying

I deleted my online dating profile. I know it works for lots of people but between the troll and Mr. Online, I have to say I was not impressed with the experience. I didn’t like all the messages from weirdoes and creep-shows, creating and reading lame profile (yeah I am including mine in the lame category) and, well really the whole thing left me with a bad taste in my mouth. It really felt cleansing to get rid of it. So now it’s back to the old school style of dating for me – random men at random parties and bars where at least one of us has drank too much. Ugh.

Speaking of parties, The Single Girl has a bunch of great party invites for the weekend starting with a party in the woods this evening and ending with a fabulous dinner party on Sunday with GB. Oh yeah the SSM also gets home on Monday ;).

With all this activity I am sure there will be lots of stories for everyone when I am back.

Have a great weekend one and all.

The Single Girl

BUSTED!

So Mr. Online finally made contact with me. He popped up on messenger last night and apologized for ditching on Saturday. So I asked him if he was ever going to tell me about his Girlfriend and he said he thought he did when I told him about the SSM. I let him know that in fact he had completely neglected to mention that at any point during the ELEVEN HOURS WE SPENT HANGING OUT.

He asked if I was mad, and said he was sorry. He let me ask a bunch of questions including … are you in an open relationship – to which he answered I can hang out with who I want. To which I responded what does that mean? You can have lunch and go to a movie with who ever he wants, but something like a blow job would be out of the question. He thought that pretty much summed it up.

We talked a little more and he asked for forgiveness and said he liked hanging out with me. I told him that I liked hanging out with him – I mean really I have never been on an 11 hour first date before – but that going forward making out wasn’t going to be an option as long as there was a girl in the picture.

Then I think to change the subject he asked me what I was doing right then so I told him I was creeping around facebook. He seemed uninterested and said he wasn’t that into Facebook. So I looked him up again and told him I was poking him on facebook. He thought that was cute and made some joke about bruising like a peach. I asked if we could be friends and he said sure. We chatted for a little longer and then we on about our evening.

I went back to Facebook to add him as a friend after we were done chatting and found that he has blocked me. I think he might think I am crazy, or not trustworthy. Or maybe he is afraid he will be caught in another lie if I can see his profile. Either way … I don’t think Mr. Online is the kind of guy This Single Girl wants to be talking to anymore.
The Single Girl