Actually … I’m his parole officer

After having what can only be termed one of the shittiest weeks of my life, last night I think I turned a corner for the better.

After received the news that one of my grandparents had passed away I left the office and tried to figure out what I was going to do next; cry, scream, become entirely numb, punch some poor random person along the river … you know, standard stuff. As I did this I remembered that Awesome and I had made a loose plan to watch a movie at his place and drink tea for the next evening – his way of helping me get through the first week of the SSM being gone and me being down in the dump (ha, pun somewhat intended). So I called him and told him our plans have gone from tentative to for sure, ditch the girl you are sleeping with, I am more important - you are hanging out with me. So he did.

The original plan was ditched when he called and told me he needed dinner and didn’t have any food at home. We went to an Indian restaurant around the corner from his place ended up at a table beside a couple with a four year old boy. My first thought was, wow, taking your four year old to an Indian Restaurant. What great parents, I wonder what the kid will eat? Awesome’s first words “How come he gets toys. I want dinky cars to play with.”

Over the course of the meal the kid was really well behaved – I thought – but every once in a while he would drop a car on the floor or be loud and his parents looked embarrassed. At one point his father told him that if he dropped another car on the floor he wasn’t going to pick it up for him. “Actually if you drop another car on the floor, we are going to get it” I informed him. Awesome thought this was great and said “yeah, so be careful because I really like cars!” That was enough to keep the cars on the table for the meal.

After out meal both Awesome and I were chatting and playing with our napkin rings, rolling them back and forth across the table as we chatted. “Can I have one!” we heard from the next table. “Of Course” I replied and we gave him a napkin ring and then I proceeded to teach him to make a monocle, then a hat and finally how to spin the ring on the table. After about ten minutes of this game Awesome looked at me, laughed and said, “Are you done? Who is the kid here?” I shrugged and agreed to leave. As we left the table and said goodbye the father looked at us and said “Sorry. I bet you didn’t think this is how you would spend your date.” We both laughed and mumbled something as we walked out of the restaurant. Walking back to his place we decided that next time we are out and someone assumes we are on a date we need to have a witty retort. So far this is what we have:

- Actually he’s my brother/she’s my sister
- We’re having an affair. Shhhh!
- She/He’s paying me hourly
- She’s my girlfriend’s sister

We need to work on the list, but as time goes on I think this could become a really fun/somewhat embarrassing game for us and the strangers we encounter.

Have a great long weekend!

xo

The Single Girl

Too much for one Single Girl

I am going underground for a few days – sorry gang. Bad news on the home front is causing me to retreat, put up the white flag and scream to the gods - I Give Up!

I will be back soon, but right now I think I need to hide out at home in bed with a cup of tea, potato chips and a sad movie.

xo
The Single Girl

Cleansing

This weekend along with all my - keep your mind off your broken heart - activities I began the cleansing process. I stripped my bed of it's sheets and duvet cover to be washed (maybe even bleached), I blocked him on facebook, I deleted his contact info off messenger, I deleted his email off my quick contacts page and I sent him an email telling him that I was sorry that I didn't go to his party but I thought it was best for everyone that I didn't go. Today I bought new sheets for my bed and tomorrow I may even splurge and get a new duvet cover.

Even with all this cleansing and purging in this age of virtual identity and living there are still many options for me to find and or contact him. There is his email, blog and flicker accounts and in a real desperate moment there is the phone. I am not sure how to avoid the rest of it other than sheer will power, which works most of the time but sometimes I find myself fingers poised over the keboard talking myself out of looking at his photos or writing.

I had forgotten how hard this process is. It has been years since I really felt the pain of a break up and the waves of sadness, loneliness and heartache that come over you at the oddest times.

I know it won't last forever - GB even pulled out the phrase, time heals all wounds today - but for now I am working on riding the waves as best I can and really enjoy the moments where I am not thinking of him and this mess.

Tonight, big party with fancy clothes and lots of people. Good distraction and hopefully a great time.

The Single Girl

ed. note I actuall wrote this yesterday but got distracted and didn't get to post it. So yeah, the party was great!

Prize Winning Cock

Today GB, Roomie and I headed out of town for a day in the country. We went hiking, ate lunch on the side of a mountain, watched some deer and hung out by a waterfall. It was a great time just the three of us walking and talking and being silly. For the drive back we decided to take a different highway then we usually do, crank the tunes and enjoy the sites of the country side.

We turned off the road into a small town about 40 minutes out of the city. We were going to grab a tea or coffee to help us all stay awake, but before we found a coffee shop we found a sign that said FAIR TODAY. So we spun the car around and headed to the town fair. Once inside we examined the blue ribbon pies, red ribbon photos and paintings, scarecrows and as the title says prize winning cocks.




(foghorn leghorn's cousin)

(fancy bantam - GB's new Boyfriend)

Sometimes I love my life, and I always love my roommates.

The Single Girl

Who Knew?

Last night I forced myself to go to a work party even though I felt like I was going to vomit and looked like I was hit by a Mack truck. Roomie and GB were determined to show me a good time and at first I was not having any of it. I begrudgingly took my free beer and sat in the sunshine, sulked and spoke to no one for about 15 minutes. But, then, I was forced to get up and get my lawn bowling lesson. Yep, lawn bowling got me out of my funk. It is so much fun. It is like bocce ball and curling rolled into one. Roomie and I were on the same team and we played against GB’s team. We weren’t good but who cares we were having fun. I noticed at about 7pm that I was smiling and having a good time and I thought, well that was easy, apparently all I needed was a large activity where people can make asses of themselves.

After having our fill of free beer, food and lawn bowling our little gang headed of to the bar for some pints and dancing. GB and I hit the dance floor for a while, then Roomie and GB. At the end of the night we came home lit a fire in the back yard and mellowed out.

Today we are off to visit CMG’s new home and tomorrow a hike. GB and Roomie are so wonderful for taking care of me while I need a little hand holding. Thanks gang, I love both of you, and everyone who has called or emailed or messaged me or just sent warm thoughts. Friends (and random readers) make life’s bumpy road easier to traverse. So thanks everyone!

xoxoxoxo

The Single Girl

ps. I am also taking the advice from another single girl and getting rid of stuff associated with him.

pps. This is my 200th post ... woot woot!

I didn’t go to the party last night. I was exhausted and feeling down and I would have just brought the party down or made an ass of myself, so I stayed in and tortured my roommates to no end with my humming and hawing about whether or not I should go.

I regret it a little because I feel like I didn’t say goodbye, but really, what more was there to say?

We will return to your regularly scheduled single girl next week.

TSG

Once More, With Feeling ….

At the end of what can only be described as one of the worst days of work I have experienced I got a text from the SSM asking me if I wanted to have dinner. I accepted of course, partially because I wanted to see him and partially because I was hoping he was going to tell me he wanted to try to make this work.

It was a bit confusing for the first part of dinner he was all hand holdy and looking me in the eye and saying he had plans for me and he was only a plane ride away and then we started talking about our chat the night before I and said I was confused. I told him that I thought I had gotten my walking papers the night before but now I wasn’t sure. He sat silent for a long time before he told me that I was right, I was in fact dumped the night previous. Then he welled up and said that I was great and this is great but that he can’t handle a relationship right now. And sitting there holding his hand in my local pub I looked him right in the eye and said “You’re an Idiot.”

We left the restaurant and walked to the park and talked a little more.

“Why did you ask me what I needed last night?” I inquired after a long silence.
“Because if it was something I could do I would do it. And if it was something I couldn’t well at least I would know.”
“All I need you to do is try, but you aren’t willing to do that.”
“No I can’t. But really, TSG, if we tried we would probably end up hurting each other more.”
“You’re probably right” I said and he looked at me like see, this is for the best. “But I was willing to take that chance.”

And that was it. There was nothing more to say. We got up and walked back to my house in silence. He meandered at the door for a while looking sad and sorry and defeated. “Go, have fun. There is a party waiting for you” I said. He looked at me and mumbled something about hating to see me hurt and not wanting to go. “You know you can come back, you know where the keys are if you need to see me. You know you will see me tomorrow at your going away party. So go have fun. I will be fine. You will be fine.” And with that he left. After the door closed I crumbled into tears on the floor of the kitchen for about ten minutes.

Tonight is his party and I can’t decide what to do. The roomies have both offered to do what ever I need or want to do. They will come with me to the party or they will take me somewhere else, or they will sit with me at home. It is his last night in town and part of me wants to say goodbye, but most of me doesn’t have the emotional energy to see him and do this and feel this all again tonight.

Who would have thought this guy would be hurting me and making me weepy?

Certainly not me.

The Single Girl

Bye Bye Baby

Last night the SSM and I finally had the talk. You know the one where you look each other in the eyes and admit that he is moving across the county. I wish I could tell you that we have decided to drop everything and just make this work, but we aren’t. He is moving and needs to start his life there. I am not moving and need to continue to live my life here. What does all that mean? Starting Friday I will officially be The Single Girl again.

It was kind of funny I said I wanted to talk about what was going to happen now and he said, in a slightly whiny tone “I don’t want to deal with this right now; I want to talk about it on Thursday.” To which I responded … right, Thursday when we are both fueled by alcohol and the heightened emotions of saying goodbye to everyone. I don’t think so, we need to talk now. After a bit of hesitation he told me this is the most functional relationship that he has ever been and that I have taught him what he is worth, that he deserves respect, what a relationship can and should be like and that moving forward no matter what happens he will take this experience with him for the rest of his life. What do you say to that but Wow (which is what I said).

He asked me what I needed and I told him I didn’t need anything and that what I wanted doesn’t really matter because he has already made up his mind. I told him that I was falling for him and then wished I could bolt out of the room, but we were at my house, so what can you do. We both said we never meant for this to happen, it was only supposeot be a fling but here we are.

We talked until very late and decided very little. I don’t know what to tell you dreamers, I am a bit dazed and hurt but not at all surprised. The good news for you folks is very soon this blog will go back to living the dream and stop being a sounding board for my doomed summer fling.

…but not quite yet …

xo

The Single Girl

That Was Close

This morning the SSM was using my computer while I was making my lunch and getting ready for work. I left gmail open for him to use but forgot to close the word document that has ALL MY BLOG ENTRIES ON IT.

When he was done with his email I said alright we should get going and he closed the internet window and there on the screen was the entry about having dinner with his parents. I tried to remain calm and said “oh close that” and closed the laptop instead of closing the document first. I don’t think he noticed or read what was on the screen, but my heart raced and I realized I have to be more careful for the next few days. Thank goodness he is so consumed with the move that he doesn’t have time to snoop around my computer.

Lady, I can hear you from here ... I know you told me so.

The Single Girl

Maybe slightly strange isn’t the right term

Last night I had dinner with the SSM's Mom and Dad. All of a sudden everything makes a little more sense. I can't really describe what it is that is slightly strange but after they left his apartment he looked at me and let out a little laugh. “What’s so funny?” I asked. “Nothing really, just my eccentric parents.” “Oh I see. They're nice. I liked them.” And they were, but he is correct, they are slighty eccentric. Slightly Strange, slightly eccentric ... potato, potato.

The Dream

Last night I dreamt that one of my ex boyfriends read my blog and then sent me a long text message telling me that I was being foolish, silly and self absorbed. He went on to say that I should just get over myself, stop worrying about what was going on in my life with this boy and write something more interesting because no one wants to read a blog about a girl who is obsessing over her love life.

I spent the rest of my dream screaming at my cell phone, writing responses, then deleting them, screaming at my phone again that I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of a response and calling him an asshole (well calling the phone an asshole really.)

I woke up and was really thankful that none of my exes actually have my cell number and that the comments section of this blog is moderated by me – because I know at least one of my exes reads this self indulgent crap. ;)

xo

The Single Girl

Without Inspiration

Sorry gang. I just don’t have any inspiration this week. I have been working like crazy all week so far and I am trying to figure out what to do about the SSM leaving, but don’t really feel like writing about it.

You know?

So hold tight, there will be something soon.

I sense an Overheard on the horizon.

The Single Girl

Ps. I also realized I needed to get the meatloaf post a little further down the page before people got really angry.

Bring on the Meatloaf!

Since Friday night I have had the song I would Do Anything For Love, But I Won’t Do That by Meatloaf stuck in my head. Why you ask? Well the SSM has about 4000 songs on his computer and one of them is the original CD version. I had just drifted off to sleep at his place over the weekend when the intro drifted into my subconscious and yanked me from my sleep. I sat straight up and said “I know this song” paused, looked around confused and said “I think I do … is it? You have Meatloaf?” He giggled at my sleepy confused chatter and told me that he actually likes Meatloaf.

He may have said more but I was no longer listening I had been transported back to making out in the backs of cars with boys with the radio on in high school. By the time the intro to the song was finished I had gone from dead asleep to wide awake and in the mood for love – a love brought on by nostalgia and cheesy lyrics. The SSM was more than happy to quell my needs, but ever since I have not been able to shake the song from my head.

I am hoping by writing this post I will pass the song (and maybe some old cheesy memories of your own) on to you so I can get rid of it.

But I won’t do that …

*hee hee*

The Single Girl

Oh Dear

I’m going to meet his Mother, today, in a few hours. I am terrified and excited. Not much more to say ... well at least until after I meet her. Yikes!

Well actually there is more to say. We have had a fabulous weekend together. And I said a lot of the things that I wanted to tell him before he left and he didn't leave, or freak out or get all mushy, he just listened mostly.

And I finally got to talk to the long lost OQB this morning as the SSM listened and made funny faces while we shared our stories of the past few months. It was hilarious, and great and the perfect way to enjoy my coffee on a Sunday morning. Thank OQB!

Must find the perfect - I just pulled this out of my closet without thinking about the fact that I am going to meet your mother - outfit.

Wish me Luck.

xo

The Single Girl

Thinking about the End

So that is the title I wrote this morning and have been staring at most of the day. The subject is that the SSM is leaving in two weeks and I am really not sure what to do, say or in the case of this blog, write.

There are lots of things I could do, say or write, but each time I try I feel a bit paralyzed. I wish I had an overheard to give you or a cute little story about something else I have seen or done but I have been enjoying some time alone for the past few days so all I have are my thoughts about the SSM and what is going to happen now. These thoughts though, do not seem to flow in the written word.

He (the SSM) says as a girl I talk ,think and reason in circles and I am realizing how true that is as I try to write about my thoughts and feelings. It makes sense in my head, but as they hit the page they become a moving target that I can not hit.

Please bear with me. I will figure out how to tell this evolving story as I have countless others to all you anonymous readers and friends. What I really hope though, is that I can find a way to talk him.

More soon.

The slightly cirlcular – Single Girl

Postponed

Sorry gang … no surprise. The SSM’s work got in the way so we have decided to do it another day.

Boo!

In happier news I have the house to myself for a week.

Ahhhh.

Don’t get me wrong I love the roomies but it is a lovely thing to have a place to yourself for a few days.

I must run ... there is a bowl of ice cream calling my name.

The Single Girl

Surprise!

Last night the SSM returned from a trip across the country where he was apartment hunting – have I mentioned that he is moving in three weeks? No? That is a story for another day … Last night he was flying in and I decided to go to his apartment and surprise him. He has given me the code to the front door and showed me the spare key so I can come and go as I please.

It was a low key surprise on my part, no outfits, or food and wine, or candlelight, just me in bed reading my favourite novel – A Prayer For Owen Meany. He seemed happy but not that surprised that I was there when he walked in (Ed. Note roomie just told me that he called the house from the airport last night, so I probably deduced I was there). We had a lovely little reunion and then lounged around in bed eating fresh cherries and talking about our respective weekends.

While he was been away we had been texting and one of his texts said we should do something fun on Tuesday night. I replied with I love that idea where do you want to go? What do you want to do? He told me he would think about it and get back to me. So as we ate our cherries and talked about our weekend I asked if he had something fun for us to do tonight. “Yep” he said with a large grin. “What are we doing?” I asked and pressed right against his face to get more details. “You will have to wait until tomorrow.” He said. “So, it’s a surprise? Will you call me when you are done work and tell me the plan?” I said – because I am a girl who needs a plan. “I will call you tomorrow, and tell you what you need to wear. And that is all I am going to say”

I am excited about the surprise, and a little nervous. Given my knowledge of the SSM I don’t think this will be a ball gown affair, or even a fancy dinner. I have a distinct suspicion that I will be told to wear long pants and hiking boots and that I will end up wandering through the underbelly of the city, or on a construction site 30 floors up on an unfinished high rise. “Fun” is a relative term.

More tomorrow.

The Single Girl

What Does It Say About Me …

That one of my favourite movies is Bandits. Ever seen it? It is the story of two bank robbers and a woman that falls in love and has a relationship with both of them as they move across the country robbing banks. She can’t choose between them and engages in a polyamorous relationship with both of them.

The woman also has a love of Bonnie Tyler songs.

What can I say … it speaks to me.

If you can’t tell, I am watching it now.

Overheard at a Gelato Shop

TSG: So I made a waxing appointment today and when they called to confirm they said “so that will be one Brazilian” and I said “no no no. Just a regular Bikini.” Can you believe that?

GB: You’re not getting a brazilian? You should get a brazilian. Try it.

TSG: No! Not happening

GB: Come on. Do it. Try it.

TSG: No.

GB: Come on. I really think you should do it. I will pay for half.

GB pulls 25.00 from his wallet

TSG stares at the money and GB in disbelief

GB: I went to far didn’t I? The money was too much. I should just put this money away.

TSG: That would be best.

Still Healing

I have been very busy for the past week hosting friends from back home, festivalling and partying.

Lots of funny stories to tell but unfortunately it might be another day or two until I get life, work and house back in order. So hold tight The Single Girl is coming back and has lots to share with all of you.

The Single Girl