Cleansing

This weekend along with all my - keep your mind off your broken heart - activities I began the cleansing process. I stripped my bed of it's sheets and duvet cover to be washed (maybe even bleached), I blocked him on facebook, I deleted his contact info off messenger, I deleted his email off my quick contacts page and I sent him an email telling him that I was sorry that I didn't go to his party but I thought it was best for everyone that I didn't go. Today I bought new sheets for my bed and tomorrow I may even splurge and get a new duvet cover.

Even with all this cleansing and purging in this age of virtual identity and living there are still many options for me to find and or contact him. There is his email, blog and flicker accounts and in a real desperate moment there is the phone. I am not sure how to avoid the rest of it other than sheer will power, which works most of the time but sometimes I find myself fingers poised over the keboard talking myself out of looking at his photos or writing.

I had forgotten how hard this process is. It has been years since I really felt the pain of a break up and the waves of sadness, loneliness and heartache that come over you at the oddest times.

I know it won't last forever - GB even pulled out the phrase, time heals all wounds today - but for now I am working on riding the waves as best I can and really enjoy the moments where I am not thinking of him and this mess.

Tonight, big party with fancy clothes and lots of people. Good distraction and hopefully a great time.

The Single Girl

ed. note I actuall wrote this yesterday but got distracted and didn't get to post it. So yeah, the party was great!