Just when I was about to quit online dating

Thursday night I went on a coffee “date” with Mr. Polamory - a man with a wife, a girlfriend and an online dating profile. His wife has both a girlfriend and a boyfriend. Bit of a web of lovers and partners but I have never been one to shy away from complication so I agreed to meet him. In emails and chats we had lots to talk about and made each other laugh with our witty banter so I had high hopes that we would make a connection and form a friendship if not something more.

The date was underwhelming. We grabbed tea and headed off for a walk along the river. He was a bit nervous and shifty and when the conversation stopped for more than a few seconds he would often fill the silence by saying “murr” a habit that within the 90 minutes we spent together became quite annoying. The date ended fine, with a hug and I’ll see you later but I didn’t care if I ever saw him again as there was no spark, no “zsa zsa zoom” to quote Sex and the City.

I woke up Friday and contemplated getting rid of my online dating profile because I realized after two failed dates that I don’t really care about dating right now and pursuing men I am vaguely interested in (at best) is a very silly pursuit. I was about to leave my office around 5:30 to get ready for an evening work event and I broke my rule about not checking the site and work only to find I had a message from a guy; a cute and older man (well older than me) who manages my local organic grocery store. His message was sweet and simple telling me he liked my profile and thought I was cute and hoped I thought he was interesting enough to answer his message.

I decided I should go home and respond from there. I sent him a quick note saying I was interested but that I was leaving town the next morning so we probably wouldn’t have a chance to talk until I got back. He replied very quickly to find out if I could meet that very evening. I was in a rush to head back to work but I asked him if I could call him around 10pm when I was done work. He gave me his number and we left it at that.

I arrived home at the end of a marathon day at about 10pm and called the man. He told me his address – about 2 blocks from my house and said I should pick him up. Now I am pretty new to online dating but from my perspective he was taking a bit of a risk. Oh well, his problem not mine. I picked him up and we headed to a local tapas bar and proceeded to have a great date. A real date, not an awkward coffee you have with someone whose profile you liked. A first date with stories and questions and little sparks of attraction and intrigue across the table.

We left around midnight and I walked him home, and then he walked me home. When we got to my door we started making plans for after I return from my business trip. I’ll call, or he will call, blah blah blah. He asked for a hug and we did and I kissed him on the cheek and then we kissed on the lips and then a few soft sweet kisses. I could feel his heart pounding through his chest as though he was a nervous twelve year old boy kissing a girl for the first time. It was so powerful I had to touch his chest with my hand.

“Okay, so Friday … what time do you finish work. I want to see you again.” He said almost breathlessly. “I will call you when I get back and we will make a plan. I finish work around five. We will work it out.” I replied and kissed him on more time before I headed into the house. Now I am at the airport – one of my favourite places to write blog posts - thinking about soft kisses and wondering what Friday will hold.

More next week.

xo
The Single Girl.

Ed. Note … I did write this post at the airport but didn’t get a chance to post it until this evening.