Sunday

My Not So Gay Boyfriend

In the grand tradition of Gay Boyfriends before him (OQB, GB) I have met and started spending most of my time with a new gay boyfriend. A fabulous man, who as luck would have it he is also my new roommate. The only problem is, he isn’t actually gay.

He and I bonded about a week ago. I took him as my date to the opening night of a show and then we went off to the opening night party together, and then to a party a the Grocer’s house (the online date guy who I am no longer with). We danced until after 3am and I helped him to get someone’s number and we just generally had a good time.

This week we went to dinner on Monday – with Awesome, then to a party on Wednesday, made a BBQ at home on Thursday and then watched a great movie Friday night.

The only thing that sets him apart from OQB and GB is, well he isn’t gay. Not that there is anything wrong with not being gay, it’s just that it has been a while since I have had a platonic guy friend that wasn’t gay, or an ex lover. Don’t get me wrong it is great. He just wandered upstairs and asked if I wanted to go on a picnic this afternoon.

Now all he needs and a pithy nickname for the sight. Not Gay Boyfriend (NGB), Not So Gay Boyfriend (NSGB), Straight Gay Boyfriend (SGB), Gay Straight Boyfriend (GSB), … I just can’t decide.

TSG

Monday

The Reason I Truly Love My Friend Mr. Awesome …

We can passionately make out for 45 minutes and then in a quiet moment he will grab my little dog and let him on the bed t o snuggle with us. We can giggle and tease each other and the dog and enjoy truly intimate moments together without strings, weirdness or expectation. Tomorrow we will email all day and Wednesday we will play wing man for one another. It is a wonderful and unique friendship that I cherish as much as I do some of my best girlfriends and gay boyfriends.

Shhh don’t tell him I think he is Awesome, cause it will either go to his head or make him think I am trying to be his girlfriend, and both of those things would be bad, very bad.

I do owe you all a post or two about what happened with the Green Grocer (the new guy I met a few weeks ago), soon I promise. But now I must go to bed … much to do tomorrow.

xo
The Single Girl

Friday

Almost Single

I have a button that I wear on my spring jacket. The button reads Almost Single, which, when I bought it seemed appropriate as I was in an open long distance relationship. I hadn’t really thought about the button until a few days ago when a bunch of people – here at the conference I am at - felt compelled to comment on my button, what does that mean, how provocative, isn’t that funny/interesting and so on. The most notable came from a man that I have met once or twice but know of quite well by his reputation as a ladies man/lover of women/slut, depending on who is giving the answer.

He was very intrigued by the button and made jokes and comments and I became all flirty and blushed and sputtered my way through a conversation. Once it was over I commented to my coworker that I am traveling with that I thought he was hitting on me. “Probably”, she replied “he is known to do that sort of thing” and we left it at that.

Later that evening I attended an event and the flirtatious man ended up occupying the seat next to me. He went routing through his bag and pulled out a sandwich. “Do you think they allow eating here in the auditorium” he asked looking around nervously as he started to unwrap his sandwich. “Probably not, but it is a small sandwich and you have large hands, I am sure you can be discreet but it.” I replied. Thank you for noticing he said and he unwrapped his sandwich and ate it.. “You know, you are going to get caught because you look like someone trying not to get caught.” I told him as he cautiously watched for ushers. “You need to eat your sandwich with confidence as though you know you are aloud to eat it here.” As I said that he stood up in the middle of the auditorium faced me and chewed on his turkey sandwich in defiance. I giggled profusely and recommended he sit back down.

We continued our small talk and flirtation right up until curtain time. As the evening was about to begin I decided that my short legs would be more comfortable if I sat cross legged for the 75 minute presentation. After crossing them I turned to the terribly flirtatious man and said “I hope you don’t mind my leg being so dangerously close to yours.” Apparently he didn’t as he spent the next 75 minutes very subtly caressing my leg.

After the show we were to go to a reception, but I decided I wanted to quickly change, as did the flirtatious man. We headed toward our respective hotels, continuing to discuss my button and flirt outrageously. He told me I should meet him in his room once I was ready, he even offered me my own key. I declined the key offer but did make my way to his room. He offered me ice cream and I sat on his bed and watched him iron his shirt while I enjoyed a few spoonfuls of chunky monkey. It was there in his room we first kissed, and then in the elevator leaving the hotel, and the elevator on our way to the party.

Once we entered the reception and we parted ways for a few hours, each of us with colleagues to talk to and new friends to make. I ended up chatting with a very attractive man from the city who gave me some insight about his city and its people. After about three hours I was ready to leave the party, as was the Flirtatious Man. We decided to go for a walk.

We chatted a bit about ourselves as we walked away from the regular cityscape and into a park area. I found out a little about him and his family, how he ended up working in the business and what his plans for the future were – work wise. Once in the park he took me by the hand and asked me to follow him off the well lit path. I cautiously agreed as we wandered into the woods and up a steep hill. He seemed to think there was a ledge in a clearing that we could hang out in, but no it was only a fallen log part way up the hill. Instead of leaving we ended up making out leaned against a tree on a most precarious angle for about 30 minutes. I am not one for salacious details, but I will say it was a lot of fun to make out in the trees. We each had early mornings so we wandered back towards our hotels and parted ways for the evening.

A few days later we met for brunch and another walk. This time we just wandered the city streets in the light of day and chatted about life and work. He talked about his romantic life and the three women he was currently dating, and I talked about the new guy I was excited to fly home to see in a day or two. As we ate brunch and shared stories I decided the Almost Single button should go to him, he really liked it and with three girlfriends it is more appropriate for him, than for me these days. I took it off my coat and slid it across the table to him. He happily accepted and put it on his coat and then we went back to our omelets and idle chatter.


xo
The Single Girl

Monday

Update from the road

He sent me an email last night.

The Subject line was I have to tell you ...

And the body of the email said

I miss your lips.


Not bad at all, I say.

xo
TSG

ps. so far I have no witty nickname for this one. I think another date is in order before it will conjure in my brain.

Saturday

Just when I was about to quit online dating

Thursday night I went on a coffee “date” with Mr. Polamory - a man with a wife, a girlfriend and an online dating profile. His wife has both a girlfriend and a boyfriend. Bit of a web of lovers and partners but I have never been one to shy away from complication so I agreed to meet him. In emails and chats we had lots to talk about and made each other laugh with our witty banter so I had high hopes that we would make a connection and form a friendship if not something more.

The date was underwhelming. We grabbed tea and headed off for a walk along the river. He was a bit nervous and shifty and when the conversation stopped for more than a few seconds he would often fill the silence by saying “murr” a habit that within the 90 minutes we spent together became quite annoying. The date ended fine, with a hug and I’ll see you later but I didn’t care if I ever saw him again as there was no spark, no “zsa zsa zoom” to quote Sex and the City.

I woke up Friday and contemplated getting rid of my online dating profile because I realized after two failed dates that I don’t really care about dating right now and pursuing men I am vaguely interested in (at best) is a very silly pursuit. I was about to leave my office around 5:30 to get ready for an evening work event and I broke my rule about not checking the site and work only to find I had a message from a guy; a cute and older man (well older than me) who manages my local organic grocery store. His message was sweet and simple telling me he liked my profile and thought I was cute and hoped I thought he was interesting enough to answer his message.

I decided I should go home and respond from there. I sent him a quick note saying I was interested but that I was leaving town the next morning so we probably wouldn’t have a chance to talk until I got back. He replied very quickly to find out if I could meet that very evening. I was in a rush to head back to work but I asked him if I could call him around 10pm when I was done work. He gave me his number and we left it at that.

I arrived home at the end of a marathon day at about 10pm and called the man. He told me his address – about 2 blocks from my house and said I should pick him up. Now I am pretty new to online dating but from my perspective he was taking a bit of a risk. Oh well, his problem not mine. I picked him up and we headed to a local tapas bar and proceeded to have a great date. A real date, not an awkward coffee you have with someone whose profile you liked. A first date with stories and questions and little sparks of attraction and intrigue across the table.

We left around midnight and I walked him home, and then he walked me home. When we got to my door we started making plans for after I return from my business trip. I’ll call, or he will call, blah blah blah. He asked for a hug and we did and I kissed him on the cheek and then we kissed on the lips and then a few soft sweet kisses. I could feel his heart pounding through his chest as though he was a nervous twelve year old boy kissing a girl for the first time. It was so powerful I had to touch his chest with my hand.

“Okay, so Friday … what time do you finish work. I want to see you again.” He said almost breathlessly. “I will call you when I get back and we will make a plan. I finish work around five. We will work it out.” I replied and kissed him on more time before I headed into the house. Now I am at the airport – one of my favourite places to write blog posts - thinking about soft kisses and wondering what Friday will hold.

More next week.

xo
The Single Girl.

Ed. Note … I did write this post at the airport but didn’t get a chance to post it until this evening.

Monday

Oh Right, The Date

The date was lame, so lame it isn't even worth posting about.

I haven't left online dating yet, but I don't have a lot of hope.

More soon.

TSG