You Can’t Win Them All or tales from my weekend

Friday night we (GB and I) went to a party at the most fabulous condo with the most fabulous hosts. On Thursday night GB and I had been out with one of the fabulous hosts of the party and we were asking him if there would be anyone at the party for either one of us. He told us he wasn’t sure if there would be anyone for me but there was a good chance that GB would find someone he liked. When I arrived the other host greeted me at the door and he instantly had wine for me (such a good host). As I walked into their condo I told the boys they had a wonderful home and insisted on tour including detail on all the renovations they have done. As I got the tour I was informed that in fact there was no one at the party for me. No straight available men at the party of two gay men, one of whom use to work for a dance company, shocking! Oh Well you can’t win them all. GB did meet a great guy and I really think he should call him … call “That T” GB Call him!

On Saturday we had a surprise engagement party to go to and we decided we needed a little lubrication before we made the trek to the suburbs. So around 4pm we headed off to the pub for a pint (or 3). While at the pub we ran into Vodkasource and told him of our party and he recommended we have at least one more pint before we head to the burbs … so we did. We also told Vodkasource of the pubcrawl we were going to hit up later in the evening and he told us to call him.

The party was actually quite lovely and we had many martinis. The bride and groom to be were surprised and we had lovely chats with all the boys. Once we had had our fill of that party we headed out to the pub crawl of engineers we were to join (sometimes even I can’t believe the things I do). Unfortunately when we found out what bar they were currently at we decided as we already had 3 pints, 4 martinis and 2 glasses of wine in us walking an extra 5 blocks was not going to happen so instead stopped at the pub for another pint … and I called Vodkasource to join us. Sadly Vodkasource was already done for the evening but thanked us for our offer. Oh well, you can’t win them all.

GB and I then wandered around the downtown looking for a gay bar we had never been to, as friends were waiting for us there. Once we finally found it we parched and needed more beer. It was shocking, there were no other women in the bar, there was no women's washroom. Oh well, you can’t win them all. I am happy to report that even though there was no women's washroom the boys found me a single toilet so I could pee in peace. We drank our beers, chatted with the boys, glanced at the porn playing on the screen and made nice with the staff.

Getting home was a bit of a challenge but maybe the funniest part of the night. We wandered around for about 15 minutes trying to hail a cab when one pulled up right across the street. We ran to see if the occupant was getting out and he was. He was very drunk and yelling into his cell phone that his buddy needed to come and find him. “I totally was going to hook up with that chick. I can't believe I left. Where the fuck are you?” he said from in the cab looking behind him as though his buddy was going to magically appear. “I gotta piss” he said into his phone as he started to pull his dick out to pee on the side of the cab. I muttered “Oh My God” loudly enough that I think I scared his penis back into his pants and he realized it was time to either keep the cab and drive to his buddy or pay up and move on. So the very drunk man paid up and we hopped in before he realized that he probably needed that cab to find his buddy. Oh well, you can't win em all ... but at the end of the night we did, which I think is all that matters.

Hope your weekend was equally amusing.

xo

The Single Girl