Helpful, In a Not So Helpful Way

As I am detoxing and in the middle of a 14 day stretch of work I decided a nice Saturday night at home was the way to go. As luck would have it the SSM was at home as well, so we chatted on gmail and playing checkers on facebook for a while when all of a sudden Fireboy popped up to say hello on gmail. He and I then chatted there for a bit and then Fireboy asked me if I could call him as he always prefers the phone to a computer. I told the SSM our chat was on hold but the checkers would continue and I dialed Fireboy.

We had some small talk for a while, what he has been up to, what I have been up to. Holidays, romance, work. And then at some point we began talking about my relationship with the SSM and he started asking if I was happy, and if I was thinking about where this relationship could go, because long distance … well that won’t go anywhere, and so on and so forth. I listened as he nattered on for a bit and then we had this exchange


FB: Well I don’t know it seems to me like you guys are just really good friends.

TSG: And that is bad because?

FB: It’s not bad, I mean I guess you are both happy as you are both at home on a Saturday night playing checkers and chatting with one another.

TSG: yeah …FB, you once told me that you would like a relationship like the one my parents had. My parents like to travel together, play games and do puzzles together and have their on lives and interests as well. It would seem to me that the SSM and I have much of that.

FB: I should really stop talking now that my foot is firmly in my mouth.

TSG: That would probably be best.

He didn’t stop talking – cause that isn’t what he does – but continued on by telling me that he stayed to long in his last relationship and really if it doesn’t work and the match isn’t right shouldn’t I know now and save some heart ache later. Truly, he is only trying to help me.

That isn’t exactly what I would call help. You?
The upshot of the whole thing is that I called the SSM later that evening and told him what had just happened and we had a bit of a laugh about the “friends” comment and ended up having a really nice chat about things. Not too heavy but a good little check in. So maybe it was help in a not so helpful way.

TSG