The Unholy Pentagon

It has come to my attention that I currently have five boyfriends – GB,OQB, Fireboy, Awesome, and the SSM. Each one of them hold a special place in my heart and my life. This might be oversimplified, but here is what each one of them bring to my life currently.

GB is my primary boyfriend (so to speak). He is my roommate and friend and we share everything from our daily minutia to our long term life plans.

OQB is my fabulous boyfriend. He and I share a party lifestyle and spend time dancing, talking about relationships and generally condemning the world to be less fabulous than we are.

Frieboy is my spiritual boyfriend. He and I spend our time together talking about how we feel and what we are trying to do with our lives and how, we can improve ourselves and our relationships.

Awesome is my bad boy boyfriend. Awesome and I spend our time talking about conspiracy theories, how the world sucks and everyone is out to get him and that there is no point in trying because it is all going to end in shit anyway.

The SSM is my ex boyfriend. He is the man who is teaching me what I want and deserve from a romantic partner.

Together they create my unholy pentagon.

Having realized this I think it is time to lose one or two of the boyfriends before a man in a red suit shows up at my door offering me a plumb job in hell.

TSG