Enjoy it She Says – as though I have any control over it

So it was a date that I went on with the slightly strange man the other night. And you know what it was a perfectly normal date with a slight strange, but perfectly nice man. We met at the pub we like, had a couple of pints, split a pizza and talked for about 3 hours. All the usual stuff, history family, mutual friends, drinking stories, vomit stories, near death experiences, work … first date chat.

At the end of the night we walked for a few blocks until we reached the corner where I had to go north and he had to go south and we said goodbye. I told him I had a good time and we hugged and he kissed me on the lips. I was a bit surprised, and I think I pulled back a bit smiled and said thanks, or something equally lame and then good night and I put my hand on his arm and gave it a little squeeze. He then pulled me in and really kissed me. Right there on the corner of north and south we made out like two 15 year olds for about ten minutes until someone drove by and yelled get a room. This seemed like good time to make my exit so I pulled away and said I think I better go and wandered off towards my home.

Once home I was very quiet (which is unusual for me.) I asked GB how his day was as I checked my email. “Fine. Where have you been? Wait you had a date with the SSM didn’t you?” “Yep” I replied quietly and smiled in GB’s direction. “Well how was it … Oh Gawd. You like him don’t you?” GB groaned and looked up from his computer “It was good we had fun. I might like him. I’m going to bed.”

The three pints I had enjoyed at the pub allowed me to drift of to sleep fairly quickly but by about 2am their sedative effects were gone and I was left with a dry mouth and three slices of pizza sitting in my gut like a brick keeping me up. From 2 until after 4am I lied in bed thinking about the date and the boy and work and life and everything swirled and swirled as I tossed and turned wishing I could get back to sleep. I managed to get a few more hours before I had to get up and go into work but not enough to really function.

In the morning after having a cup of coffee in the shower to try and get me moving, I had a small freak out with Roomie as I told her about the date and grinned like some sort of Cheshire cat. “Aww it’s great.” She said and assured me that everything was going to be fine. “A good date is a good thing, remember you’re a commitment phob so relax and don’t think too much, this is fun. Right! TSG enjoy it.” Right, enjoy it I thought as I heading out the door to work.

I got to work and wasn’t very productive between the lack of sleep, the three pints and the date. I messed up a bunch of work and generally looked confused as people talked to me about various projects. Around 2pm I decided it was best for all concerned if I just went home and had a nap, my boss concurred. After my nap I decided to call The Lady as we hadn’t spoken in days and I told her all about the date and the freaking out and hating the fact that I couldn’t concentrate at work and that I couldn’t sleep. “What is wrong with you? This is the part that everyone else in the world loves. The butterflies, the giggles, RELAX enjoying it. This is great. My god it was just a date, who knows what happens next. Don’t borrow trouble and sabotage a good time.”

So today I am working on letting the butterflies and giggles and far off gazes rolls over me in waves like they naturally want to instead of trying to stop the feelings dead in their tracks before they have a chance to form. We will see what happens. Wish me luck, I am trying here.

The Single Girl