A Little Teary

All I want this weekend is someone to cuddle up in my bed and hide out with me. Spooning, watching movies, drinking tea and doing the crossword. I think it is being sick that has led me to this slightly sucky state of being. This is one of those weeks when I don’t want to be single. I want someone to rub my back, make tea and just spend quiet time with me. Then again, if I wasn’t single and feeling like this, I would want to be single and hide out by myself rather than try to explain my mood to another person who has needs and feelings of their own. And really, who has the time to actually spend an entire weekend hibernating and doing crosswords. Ah, the complexities of the mind …

I rarely cry. It’s true ask any of my friends – The lady even calls me hard heated Hannah because I rarely cry at sad films. But this week I feel a little weak. It could be my feeling ill, or the family stuff, or the end of my non relationship, or the Grey’s Anatomy episode I watched last night, or the January/February blues … or all of the above. I think all of the above is the answer. It was kind of scary when I almost cried in a staff meeting today over what outwardly seemed like nothing to get that upset about. I didn’t ultimately breakdown (thank God!) but it has led to my decision to treat myself to a sad movie at home tonight so I can get it out of my system and get on with my life – i.e. go for beer and pizza on Saturday and stop feeling sorry for myself.

I know there is a bunch of blah feelings going around as I hear it from friends, read it on blogs and see it in the faces of people on the street. It is strangely comforting knowing that people know how you feel and/or feel similar. It gives me a sense of kinship as we all claw our way through the beginning of 2007. I think (and maybe I am optimistic) it will get better once the sun is out for more than 2 hours a day and the slush is gone and there are flowers and bright colours on the streets.

Keeping my fingers crossed for a good weekend, or at least a good Saturday crossword.

The Single Girl