Home for the Holidays (part I)

I have been trying to log into blogger for about 12 hours but between a bad connection, the endless traffic of people and the lady pulling out the master list every other hour and saying what do we have to get done today it is hard to get enough time on the computer to write anything. I must warn you now that I am writing directly onto blogger as my parents use Microsoft works and not word on their computer (I didn’t even think that program still existed) so my word doc of the blog is of no use to me.

So far the trip is as expected, tiring and so much fun, but today’s post- and probably the last one before the holiday is devoted to my trip to get here. I must begin by thanking CMG for the ride out to the airport and the cocktail in the hotel bar. Nothing like preparing for a long trip with a pint of Coors Light and a good chat.

I entered the security line in front of a very young man (19ish if you are wondering what I believe “very young” to be) who was humming. After a minute or two I realized that he was actually humming Leaving on a Jet Plane. So I was forced to say ... are you actually humming Leaving on a Jet Plane? And this very young and sweet young man replied "yeah! I am so excited I am going home and it is like only my second time on a plane, I don't even know what to do at security." I recommended he put his coat and belongings in the bin to start. "Should I take off my belt?" he asked ... "Sure" I said "it couldn't hurt." Then I asked him where he was going and what he was doing that brought him here. He told me he was going to bible college and I thought to myself ... of course you are … and made my way through security and nicely moved on from the innocent young Christian.

While wandering around the airport and wasting time I caught the eye of a nice looking guy sitting at my gate. We played the eye game ... you know ... look at each other, look away, look back, repeat. I left the seating area to get water came back and was left with no choice but to sit beside this guy as there was almost nowhere else in lounge to sit. We instantly stuck up a conversation (CMG and OQB this story does not end with me joining the mile high club so don't get your hopes up) and waited for the line to die down a little.

Once on the plane and waiting to get seating he noted that someone was sitting in his seat and I noted that it looked like the seat beside me was free if he wanted and he accepted. All sounds great right ... well it was until two minutes later when some punk kid told me that I was in his seat. Turns out not only was I in the wrong seat but in the wrong row so I was forced to leave the company of my potential new friend.

After we landed we struck up a conversation again for a minute or two commenting on the weirdoes waiting for luggage that really should just go out and have that cigarette ... for every ones sanity. Then I ran into a ex co-worker and ended up talking to him for two minutes as I watched the mystery man orbit in my general direction. Then the strangest thing happened, as the conveyer belt started and the luggage began to tumble down my suitcase was the third one off. This NEVER happens. I mean really, when you are in a rush and want to get out of the airport as quickly as possible you are there for longer than your flight, but when you have an attractive man you want to give your email to, your luggage shows up almost as fast as you. So I grabbed my bags made a hasty goodbye from the work friend, walked over and wished Mr. Man a happy holidays, got his name shook his hand and left.

I have been torn over how I feel about the goodbye. I wonder if I should have given him my email or number, but I also think, if he didn't ask for it, maybe he didn't want it or it wasn't meant to be. Either way it is still one of the better plane rides I have had in the recent past. Many more adventures here, but tomorrows work list is long and I must get some sleep.

Soon to come in Home for the Holidays part II (sometime after the holiday)

• Memorable quotes from the family (sneak peak - The Lady while we were having lunch my first day here "Who in the world could I have been with that I would have wanted only one glass of wine?")
• Going to Fireboy's Christmas party - well crashing really
• To the airport and back again
• And many other family hi-jinks
  

The Single Girl

Holidays and other random thoughts

I can’t describe how excited I am to go home to the clan. My little brother arrived at my parents place three days ago and I have been jealous ever since. I have talked to him and the parental units at least twice a day since Saturday. Last night Lu and I were taunting the lady but it just wasn’t the same as actually being there to egg each other on and see the look on her face as we teased her.

It is going to be a big Christmas in my world. Everyone is coming home. I am sure regular readers have come to understand my love of a good party and that I do not generally fear the wrath of a hangover, but I am a little nervous about the size and scope of the holiday cheer that awaits me when I walk through the doors of the homestead. I learned to love parties (attending, throwing, crashing … you name it) from my parents and spending time with my party mentors is always a great time. Mix together a dash my friends, a pinch of their friends, a spoonful extended family, a dollop my one year old nephew and a heaping serving of alcohol and you have my recipe for a fantastic family holiday.

I just came to the realization that I haven’t turned on the TV in 3 days. Usually when I have the house to myself it is always on just for some noise, but for the past few days I have been too obsessed with both David Sedaris and various blog reading to even think of turning on the tube. For those that don’t know me, three days without even turning on the weather network is something akin to a miracle, or more realistically one of the signs of the apocalypse. I am now determined not to turn it on before I leave town – which is tomorrow so it shouldn’t be hard.

Other things I contemplated writing about and may in the future but just couldn’t fit in today:

• How beautiful the sunrise is as I walk to work in the morning. It almost makes going to and from work in the dark worthwhile - almost.
• OQB is disgusting, hilarious, a great shoulder to lean on and kick in my ass all at the
  same time and I wouldn’t have it any other way. And he totally needs to get his own blog and call it Ass … the final frontier.
• People who send Christmas cards make me feel somewhat unorganized and inadequate. I sometimes wonder if I should continue to be friends with people who are that organized.
• As much as I love having the house to myself – not even the dog is here – I can’t wait until Roomie and GB are back.
• My life was never this interesting when I lived in the Centre of the Universe, why is that?

Love and Egg Nog for all – if that’s your thing

The Single Girl

The Blog

I had such an array of blog topics while sitting at work today but now they have all disappeared … except for this one … (how is that for an opener)

On the topic of blogging I recently came to find out that my readership is larger than I thought it was and that it includes friends of the family – i.e. my parents friends. The lady told me this last night in a way that can only be described as an attempt to make me curb the content of the site or embarrass me. In the moment it freaked me out a little so I went back and read all my entries today while doing other work at work – I am a multi tasking Queen!

After reading my entries I came to a few conclusions:

1. Even when I employ spell check and reread all entries before I post there are
   still some atrocious spelling and grammatical errors. I mean seriously, how do you people read this blog without cringing?
2. There is nothing in this blog that I am ashamed of. I read it andthought would I show this to my father? The answer yes. I mean in conversation I wouldn’t necessarily give him all the detail in some of the entries but he is a good humoured man who loves a good story so I think he would appreciate it. Bear in mind I would not want to be sitting beside him while he read, then again I don’t like to be beside anyone reading my blog (see conclusion #1).
3. I would tell any of my friends all of these stories (and more). Many of them live far away it has become a great way to keep in touch. And, believe it or not I don’t document everything that I do. Some things are not available for public consumption – even on this is a pseudo anonymous blog.
4. As OQB said, this blog documents my love of drinking and a good party more than anything else.
5. Finally the next time I create an anonomous blog, I may not tell the lady, as it appears she can’t keep a secret for shit.

So do not worry faithful readers, even though everyday more people are reading this little blog of my life I will continue to entertain you with tales of road trips, random musings, boys, bad dates, drunken evenings and strippers.

Opps … if you want to hear the story of how I ended up getting our picture taken with a stripper while drinking with 100 Santas you will have to ask me in person … it will not make the blog.

Yours, as always

The Single Girl

Kinky or just old fashion Goth

My Kinky Christmas party was quite the event. I of course arrived in style wearing a red corset, black mini skirt, riding crop and short blond wig. As I walked through the door it was clear to me that this was not the event I was expecting.

It was a very goth Christmas with heavy metal bands and zombified women. We walked through the doors just as one of the burlesque acts was finishing so we decided to survey our surroundings. We quickly met up with more friends and found out that there was also a basement to this club. We wandered down stairs into one of the dingiest bars I have been to since I was in university when price was more important than décor or adhering to health codes.

I ran into Awesome in the basement, looking very dapper with fangs in and His Best Friend (ABF) was in all black with a choke chain around his neck. It didn’t take long for us to decide to join the rest of my friends upstairs to watch the headliners.

I must point out that I am not a fan of heavy metal so when the music began it was all I could do not to giggle at the absurdity. Awesome, ABF and I headed toward the front of the crowd, but I quickly retreated when I found myself in the beginnings of a mosh pit – normally not a problem but in 4 inch heels, not great.

The burlesque show was good, dark but good. Some of the girls were zombies and some just really gothed out. The extreme piercing demo actual more of a side show where a man dressed as a doctor plunged needles into a naughty nurse. I have a huge fear of needles so I opted not to watch much of that demo.

I spent much of my evening with Awesome and ABF always with a drink in my hand and yet I paid for nothing … as ABF said Single Girl put your money away you the eye candy for the evening we will take care of the rest. After the bar we went to the late night Chinese food restaurant had some noodles and listened to some good old eighties tunes. They had everything, Heart, Paula Abdul even Bonnie Tyler, it was great. We said goodnight to ABF and Awesome and I retired to my place for some R & R in front of the fire.

Oh my god I completely forgot. I won a door prize! A Fifty Dollar gift certificate from a tattoo and piercing place. As I said before I have a huge fear of needles so I doubt I will use it but it is always nice to win a prize.

Tomorrow back to the grind. Oh well.

xo
The Single Girl

Saturday

Has anyone else out there in cyberland noticed that very few people blog on Saturdays? It is as though blogging is like a job or school and no one wants to put in any extra time on the sacred day off meant for catching up on correspondence, partying, cleaning or just sitting around and doing nothing.

When I get up on Saturday mornings I sit down at my computer to read about peoples lives in the same way I read the paper I am often disappointed. I go to Life on the Roof, [redacted] , Brutal Honesty or Jill Murray and no one is there to amuse me.

I am no better. I rarely blog on a Saturday as I am often to busy or too tired to write anything, but this morning as I was lying in bed reading David Sedaris I thought to myself I love reading about other people on a Saturday morning I wish my bloggers could satisfy the way Sedaris’ family does …

So this is my plea, once the holidays are over everyone – including me – should try to write the occasional Saturday post for themselves, friends and anonymous readers.

Now I have to go out and face the Holiday shopping madness and finish my holiday shopping. Tonight Kinky Kristmas … that should bring an interesting post or two.

Happy Saturday

The Single Girl

Gold Star

So by the end of my work yesterday day three people had cried at me, two because they fucked up royally and one because she was frustrated and tired. The third crier was the tipping point for beer. She and I decided the best cure for her tears and my bad day was a pint and pizza at our favourite pub. So we made the trek and enjoyed a couple of pints and what is arguably the city’s best pizza.

When I got home around 9pm I finally opened my advent present. Ironically enough it was a bunch of gold stars with a note telling me to give them out to people that day. I think it is a good thing I didn’t open the gift until last night as it was not a gold star day for anyone yesterday. I think I will take them to work today as I am hopeful today will be a better day.

Today I received chocolate coins and a note that read Mmmm. More Chocolate. I like Chocolate.

Cold update - I will be continuing to fill my body with amphetamines today as I have meetings and reports due. I am hopeful that by Christmas day I will no longer be a snot factory maybe before then, but somehow I doubt it.

The Single Girl

I suck

I have been sick for 12 days now – well actually 2 full weeks if you count the days I was pretending not to be sick and taking cold FX. So this morning I was so exhausted and sick that I didn’t remember to open my advent present! How lame am I?

I am now sitting at my desk flying on daytime cold medication – it is like speed, actually it is partially speed – wondering what is in my little manila envelop and running through my bad day.

How bad was my day? I have made two people cry in meetings, everything I have touched has gone bad or gotten lost and I can’t see my desk for all the paper scattered all over it. I am suppose to go to Karaoke tonight but I am a little worried about the effects of combining cold medication and beer. I could just have water … yeah that sounds like me …

Wish me luck and some will power.

The Single Girl

ps. Any bloggers out there updated to the new blogger? How is the transition? I am a little afraid to make the change. Send me your thoughts.

Tis the Season

My dear friend sent me an advent calendar last week. I have been meaning to write about it for a while because it might just be the best present ever because it isn't one present it is actually 25 presents!

Every morning when I get up I trundle down the stairs and look at the mantle to see a lovely string of little manila envelops numbered from 1 – 25 (well 13 – 25 now) hanging by wooden clothes pins. And every morning I get to open a new envelop with a lovely little gift.

I wish I had my camera so I could take a picture everyday and share all my lovely little gifts with their great little notes but sadly the camera is still in the shop. No matter you all have vivid enough imaginations to envision my special treats. To date I have received chocolates, a candle, a birthday candle to make a wish, jelly beans, a sharpie for my key chain, a prepaid envelop to send a note to someone and lots of other fun stuff.

Today was a tube of glitter to decorate whatever I see fit.

Now it is too late for this year, but I encourage everyone to make an advent calendar for someone next year. I am sure it is fun to make and it is most definitely fun to receive.

Thanks again Dude! I love it

The Single Girl

Is it bad ...

Is it bad that I stopped drinking by 10:30 Saturday night and still feel vaguely like throwing up?

Big weekend, but sadly today is a very busy day at work so you will have to wait a little longer for the stories.

Yours,

The ever partying Single Girl

Two Things ...

One. I like to think that I am an organized person who can muti-task and get things done. No I am a messy, disorganized person with a good memory … big difference. It is a good thing that I am also lucky so it all works out in the end

Two. The holidays are great and all but this week marks the first of the holiday treats arriving in the office from different suppliers. If these treats are any indication of the weeks to come, I am not going to be able to fit into anything by the time I get home for the holidays. Yikes!


Lots of parties and social gatherings this weekend, so hopefully I will have interesting things to post on Monday – or over the weekend if I am so inclined.

I was told recently that I should have more images on the blog, and I will as soon as I get my camera back from the shop. Thanks to GB for the use of his camera for the dinner and Absinthe pictures.

Lots of love for the weekend,

The Single Girl

Polyamory

Last night I stumbled upon a documentary on CBC newsworld called I Love You and You and You http://www.cbc.ca/wilddocs/wd_061206.html. It was a bit lame overall, mostly because it barely scratched the surface of two very complex relationships and the soundtrack drove me crazy. Maybe that isn’t a good reason to dislike a film, but the soundscape seemed to make light of the subject is some sort of way. It was almost cartoonish. Lame!

I also recently ordered a book called Redefining our Relationships: Guidelines for Responsible Open Relationships by Wendy O-Matik.

Now I am not saying I want to become an active member of the polyamory movement but something about it really intrigues me on an intellectual level. Whatever it is I am currently an avid student sponging up all the information I can get.

I am not sure why I am posting about this but I find it strangely interesting and wanted to share.

The Single Girl

Ps. I am currently watching the OC … or rather it is on in the background and I am noticing the kids in this show say Awesome more than Mr. Awesome does. Oh and I love Adam Brody… mmm … geeky yummiest.

Overheard on the Phone Last Night

TSG: Lady my nose hurts and is red from my cold

The Lady: You should put some Vaseline on it

TSG: Ewwww! Can’t I use skin cream

The Lady: No that will make it flake use Vaseline

TSG: Really? I don’t have Vaseline.

The Lady: Well use K-Y or some other lube …

TSG: OMG

The Lady: I know you have some sort of lube in the house so put that on your nose

TSG: I am not putting lube on my nose. I have to go now

Skiing (or part two of Totally Awesome)

Awesome and I met BWB (for those that didn’t read yesterday that is short for Best Work Buddy) for breakfast the morning after the Christmas party. At breakfast BWB decided not to come skiing as he had overdone it on the dance floor and at the bar the night before. He told me first and I tried to convince him to ski using my girlish charm. About 32 seconds later when that didn’t work I pointed out that Awesome would probably spend the next few weeks bugging him because he wussed out.

I was right. Awesome spent the rest of breakfast calling him variations on wuss, pussy and lame. Once Awesome felt he had his fill of ridicule and pancakes we checked out of the hotel and headed off to the mountains. About ten minutes after we left the hotel BWB called and said he would meet us at the hill, if it wasn’t a long distance call I think Awesome would have made fun of him for another 10 minutes on the phone.

I was very nervous when we got to the hill and I looked up and up and up. I told BWB, as I told Awesome the day before, that if they wanted to do some black diamond hills I would be fine on my own. They both insisted that they would ride with me all day and that I would not be holding them back. They also assured me that they hadn’t been out since last season and I would completely be able to keep up. Last season compared to five years … sure boys I will be totally fine skiing with you.

Well I did it. I kept up, all day. Not only did I keep up but I LOVED it and want to go out again soon. It was a great day again, and again I had two great dates at my side. BWB was our guide holding the map with all the runs. He was so encouraging of my skiing throughout the day. He convinced me to try a blue run and ski the back of the mountain. Yes I have a bit of a crush on BWB, but you would too … he is totally cute, young, sweet, supportive and has the biggest blue eyes … but I digress.

I even did a black diamond run – accidentally – but I never fell, which is more than I can say for the boys. Awesome fell almost every run mostly because he was on a snowboard trying to do jumps. At one point he ended up face first in a snow bank, it was hard not to laugh. BWB had a spectacular fall near the end of the day. I actually thought he was going to become an avalanche ball it was so bad. I did come close to falling once and both the boys were skiing behind me at the time. After the run they both confided that they were waiting with boyish anticipation for me to bite it.

But I am too Awesome to do something like that.

TSG

Totally Awesome

The weekend was great. Awesome picked me up on Saturday afternoon and we went for brunch at Denny’s before hitting the road. I was a little worried that I had a lot packed for one night away, i.e. my over night bag, my backpack and a dress bag. But went I put my stuff in the truck he had two bags and a suit bag as well.

The drive was great. We hadn’t seen each other in weeks so had lots of stories to tell and he told me about all the guys I was going to meet that evening and who I should talk to and who I didn’t need to know. At some point we were talking about, high school and dating, and Awesome made the comment that he was repressed because he never had the proper social adjustment into high school here is how the rest of that chat went;

TSG: Umm … I haven’t known you that long but I think I can safely say you are not repressed.

Awe: What do you mean? I am so repressed?

TSG: Right … how long did we know each other before we had sex?

Awe: Well when I tell the story it was two hours.

TSG: It was not two hours … it was, it was … at least four.

Awe: No it was two.

TSG: That is not the point. The point is you are not repressed.

Awe: You may be right.

I was both flattered and horrified by the statement “when I tell the story” because it means he tells people about me which is cool, but he tells them I had sex with him within two hours of meeting him which, well, makes me look a bit easy. But I digress …

We got to the hotel late in the afternoon, checked in went upstairs and immediately made proper use of the hotel room – which settled the debate in my head about whether or not it was going to be a platonic weekend … then we showered and got ready for the party. He looked hot in a three piece suit with a red tie and handkerchief and he made sure to tell me repeatedly as I was getting ready just how hot he was … and humble too was always my response.

So in our fabulous outfits we headed off to his best work buddy’s (BWB) room for pre cocktails. The boys had Absinthe, but I decided to stick with vodka. BWB is a great guy and we hit it off right away. He had no date for the evening so I was kind enough to take him under my wing and adopt him. I have always believed that having two dates for an evening is always better than one because it ensures that you your drink is always full, you always and a dance partner and you are definitely never bored. Awesome and BWB were wonderful dates.

The evening was your average Christmas party, buffet dinner, door prizes, speeches and a dance. I met a ton of people over the course of the evening – and remember almost none of them – we drank wine, that we stole from other tables and we danced for hours. Having two dates meant I was almost always on the dance floor because if one of them wasn’t into the song the other one was grabbing me by the hand to dance to AC/DC.

We ended our evening out at around midnight as we didn’t feel like spending any more money at the cash bar and others were talking about going to clubs that we weren’t interested in so we just headed back to the room. As I have said before I am not one for lurid details but I really must say it is really hot removing a man’s tie, slowly unbuttoning his shirt, removing his cufflinks and sliding the shirt off his back. The rest of the night I leave to your imagination.

Tomorrow all about the skiing I promise.

The Single Girl

I think I may be in trouble

I am a competitive person … a very competitive person. So when Awesome called to ask if I would go downhill skiing on Sunday - after his christmas party - I, of course, said yes. I mean I have skied before and I only broke my arm the one time so I thought yeah, sure, why not I really should ski in the mountains once in my life. I mean who knows how long I will live out here… what better time than now?

I have just been to the resort website and I am now terrified of everything, including the chairlift. It wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t have this driving force (also called competitiveness and stubbornness) driving me not only to ski, but to potentially keep up with Awesome and his work friends. All of whom probably came out of the womb on skis.

If you don’t hear from me for a while it is because I have seriously injured myself and can not longer type. maybe I iwll get lucky and we will be too hungover on Sunday to even think of strapping on skis. It is never going to happen ... I am going to be fine ... I am going to be fine.

In much happier news I had my monthly poker game last night and I came in Second! What does that mean you ask? Well I won $110.00 which will cover the cost of breaking my own legs (otherwise known as downhill skiing). I am going to be fine ... I am going to be fine.

Happy Friday All! I hope to be back next week.

The Single Girl