Codes and Karma
Okay I get it. Screening is not the answer. It is childish and passive aggressive. I can’t promise I won’t do it again but this experience of being screened has taught me that I need to answer my calls and let people know that I don’t want to talk to them no matter how hard that might seem. The funny thing is I don’t want to talk to Mr. X anymore so why do I care what they think of me? Obviously when I screen a person doesn’t like me so it shouldn’t be that big a deal. Lame, I know I am lame.
All that said I feel I must apologize to the Young Jer, Dummer, Mr. Bad Kisser, The Old Fish and many others but I can’t remember your names (or given nicknames), for screening more than once. I am sorry, by no means do I think that this will change the screen that I am currently experiencing but I wanted to put it out there … for Karma’s sake.
So that was the post I was composing last night – I often begin a post in the evening and then edit in the morning - but when I got up this morning this was in my inbox from Mr. Awesome with the subject heading ALIVE:
I am alive, i swear. It just that for every second that i have i need two...
Damn you seconds..... damn you to an unhappy life of cars on blocks and women with no teeth!!
Witty … sure. Cute … kind of. Meaning … I have no idea!
So now I find myself having to modify the post to talk about codes and the secret language of dating. I have been in the dating pool for about 15 years now and I have always had a terrible time reading signs or understanding the hidden language spoken between lovers.
Here is an example of the “code” that Fireboy and I use. Tea in the afternoon generally means I want to get together but can’t fool around this trip. Dinner or Drinks at your/my place means I have an agenda that includes a bottle of wine and you naked. Drinks in the evening at a bar means I can’t make any promises but let’s see what happens. Confused? Funnily enough without ever explaining this to one another we got it. Then laughed about it one night over drinks in a bar … before making out.
Awesome and I don’t have a clear language so something like this - when I was sure I was being screened - is … well … perplexing. If I thought he would return my call in any timely matter I would call and try and have an honest conversation without codes or positioning, because at this point I just need to know what is going on so I can just let go and move on. “He is just not that into you” from Sex and the City is running through my head … as is “You’re right, you’re right, I know you’re right” from When Harry Met Sally. And yet I still let it fester.
As promised readers you are the first to know – aren’t you glad you get to be a part of my neurosis? I am.
On a completely unrelated topic I love freewill astrology! Rob Brezsny’s writing is great. I go on line every Thursday to read what the week will bring. More often than not it is very inspiring, witty and insightful. So I encourage everyone to take a look this week especially because he gives Halloween costume suggestions for every sign. Go to http://www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/
Enjoy!
The Single Girl
9 comments:
OMG! I got "fundamentalist porn star" that's such a great idea! What was yours? (hint hint... post it here!)
As for Awesome, if he is to measure up to his nickname, then he needs to call you, not send cryptic emails. I do not think it would be screening to just let his email sit in the "oh, gosh, I am just way too busy to get through all my joke email this week" pile and let him catch the upwind already and pick up a phone.
Fundamentalist porn star is amazing! My was a beauty queen with a big pimple or a superhero with a broken arm. Not nearly as good.
Oh I totally am letting that email sit for a day or two before answering.
Yeah! comments work!
TSG
Screening will never be involved in any Karma scenario. Screening is a politically correct way of say "Hey. (insert negative comment) really puts me off and as a result I'm not into you.....Motherfucker." Continue with the screening, but as you know you can be screened as well. If you are okay with that, then screen away. (mmmm ice-screen)
Two kinds of human beings get ego bruised by screening...(and I know I'll get back lash for this)..One WOMEN...TWO GAY MEN. Why? Emotional sensitivity and analytical superpowers. Dudes don't care. They get upset that theres no hope of getting "puh" (laid) buts thats it, they'll move on.
Which brings me to your issue with Awesome. One...hes' busy fooling around with his best friend..lolol...jokes. Seriously, I'm thinking you're putting too many eggs in his basket. If he wants to hang he'll call. If he wants to fuck he'll call. Because neither of you have "defined" this relationship, he feels no need to follow up with any of the required responsibilities. Fuck buddies have rules, monogamous relationships have rules and yours...well...what is it? No definition = open playing field.
Babe, you know you fine, and I could go on but there's no need for stressing over this one. You may actually push him away. Stay loose (ahem) they way he is. See how his actions affects you? Turn the tables (in a friendly way) and distance yourself from calling/emailing.
Trust the Queer. He's been there on both sides of the fence.
Love ya!
Wow I think that is the longest comment I have ever seen on a blog. Don't worry TSG is not all worries and fear I am still a Sex and the City girl ... love ya too babes! I love that you commented under oqb ...
I really don't think people should be allowed to post in this thread without mentioning their suggested halloween costume. *cough* oqb *cough.*
Also, I do know of straight dudes who have reacted badly to screening. So I guess that's everyone.
Not to suggest that I am the person who screened them. I have never been popular enough to get to try.
I thought Jill's was the best costume suggestion, but now I am torn because Shane's is just so good ... Long live freewill astrology!
Im going as a cum rag....no seriously I am....
No OQB ... you were suppose to tell us what your freewill horoscope told you to go as.
But now I need a picture of your actual halloween costume. Cause ... OMG it is going to be so horrid it is fantastic.
BTW OQB's freewill costume suggestion was a relaxed, smiling lightning bolt ... which I think is similar to a condom as oppose to a cum rag ... ewww I can't believe I just wrote that
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