Party, Party, After Party

On Saturday night I had a choice of four different parties to attend. Sure it might sound a bit excessive but somehow it seems appropriate for summer time.

We (Roomie, Straight Gay Boyfriend and I) headed off to the first party around. It was great, a birthday party with burgers, cake, hula hooping and a surfing motif. I was there for about four hours, the other two party goers each took off for a bit to other parties, but I thought, no two parties would be enough for me. Besides I was just getting the hang of the hula hoop.

Around 9pm Roomie came back to pick me up and we headed home to drop off the car and go to the next party ( #2 for me and #3 for her). We rounded up SGB (also party #3 for him) and headed over to a huge gathering with DJs, fire spinners, drag queens and lip sinkers. There were over a hundred people,quite a site to see in my little neighbourhood. You may or man not remember that I vaguely mentioned this party in a post last summer http://thoughtsofasinglegirl.blogspot.com/2008/07/bad-blogger-very-bad-blogger.html where I was drunk in a hammock chair and made out with a guy that I can’t really remember, yeah, I am allllll class. Anyway the party was huge, Awesome joined our gang around 10:30pm – he too was party hoping, and I ran into the Grocer and other random neighbour hood friends. I even met a new boy.

I was wandering from the fire pit, through the dance floor towards the chill space, where my beer was, and I almost ran into a plastic saber worn by a cute boy. Having a flirtatious moment I told him he should put a sheath on that thing and he apologized and told me it was at home with a different pair of pants. So we chatted and flirted for a bit and then he said he had to go for a bit but would I hold his sword. Why not I thought, and so I carried it for a bit and then hid it in a tree. Around midnight the cops came to the property … something about noise by laws … so the party was forced to break up. I gave sword man back his saber and invited him back to our place, where apparently “two or three people” we coming by. Sadly sword man had a different after party to go to (there were apparently three or four that formed after the cops broke up the good time) so I gave him my number and we parted ways.

When Awesome and I arrived in the back yard there was a after party happening with a fire, booze and about 30 – 40 people. Having been up since 6:30am I can’t really claim to have taken full advantage of the after party opportunity. By around 2:30 I was done for the evening and headed off to bed. According to SGB the last of the partiers left the back yard a little after 5am. Glad I didn’t try to keep up until 5am but not bad for a Saturday night.

Not bad at all.

The Single Girl

Seriously?

When we broke up I told the SSM I didn’t want to speak to him again, ever. I think my exact words were “when I hang up this phone, it is over, no more chatting, emails or phone calls … I will be deleting you from everything” and then I blocked him on facebook, gmail chat and messenger and deleted his phone number. Pretty clear, no? Well apparently this week he wanted to try to find a way around the system.

Yesterday he sent an instant message to roomie on facebook saying “Hug TSG for me, but don’t tell her it is from me.” Her response was to tell him, dude, I am not going to get in the middle of this, so please don’t ask. Good on Roomie for not getting in the middle, but seriously, WTF was he thinking?

I have never been interested in having a blog that trashes the men I dated before, but seriously that is just a little to immature and passive aggressive not to comment on.

Seriously, grow up.

The Single Girl

Things, Stuff and Thunder

The rain started falling about twenty minutes ago and ever since it started I can’t help but think of a five hour phone conversation I had with the SSM last summer. Somewhere around hour three or four there was a great lightning show and this storm is similar.

Some days I think I am over it and that he – and us - are a distant memory and all of a sudden I am sitting on my back porch listening to crash into me as the lightning flashes across the sky and I find myself wondering if I will ever have that sort of bond with a boy again. And then I wonder if he has that kind of bond with his new girl.

They are dumb thoughts, sure, but they are, I think, pretty normal.

I disabled my online dating account this week. I just don’t think I am in a place where I can really deal with dating, or more truthfully rejection. Whatever his reasons the “dumping” by the grocer before things had even really had a chance to start left me feeling a little down on myself. Which is totally stupid, and not about him at all probably, more likely about the hurt that I haven’t really taken the time to really explore after the break up with the SSM.

It seem the thunderstorm knows what is going on and wants me to take moment or two to just let me heart sink a little and feel the sadness I have been avoiding for so long. Strangely enough, it kind of feels good.

Don’t you just love the feeling of thunder rumbling through your chest. I do.

The Single Girl

My Not So Gay Boyfriend

In the grand tradition of Gay Boyfriends before him (OQB, GB) I have met and started spending most of my time with a new gay boyfriend. A fabulous man, who as luck would have it he is also my new roommate. The only problem is, he isn’t actually gay.

He and I bonded about a week ago. I took him as my date to the opening night of a show and then we went off to the opening night party together, and then to a party a the Grocer’s house (the online date guy who I am no longer with). We danced until after 3am and I helped him to get someone’s number and we just generally had a good time.

This week we went to dinner on Monday – with Awesome, then to a party on Wednesday, made a BBQ at home on Thursday and then watched a great movie Friday night.

The only thing that sets him apart from OQB and GB is, well he isn’t gay. Not that there is anything wrong with not being gay, it’s just that it has been a while since I have had a platonic guy friend that wasn’t gay, or an ex lover. Don’t get me wrong it is great. He just wandered upstairs and asked if I wanted to go on a picnic this afternoon.

Now all he needs and a pithy nickname for the sight. Not Gay Boyfriend (NGB), Not So Gay Boyfriend (NSGB), Straight Gay Boyfriend (SGB), Gay Straight Boyfriend (GSB), … I just can’t decide.

TSG

The Reason I Truly Love My Friend Mr. Awesome …

We can passionately make out for 45 minutes and then in a quiet moment he will grab my little dog and let him on the bed t o snuggle with us. We can giggle and tease each other and the dog and enjoy truly intimate moments together without strings, weirdness or expectation. Tomorrow we will email all day and Wednesday we will play wing man for one another. It is a wonderful and unique friendship that I cherish as much as I do some of my best girlfriends and gay boyfriends.

Shhh don’t tell him I think he is Awesome, cause it will either go to his head or make him think I am trying to be his girlfriend, and both of those things would be bad, very bad.

I do owe you all a post or two about what happened with the Green Grocer (the new guy I met a few weeks ago), soon I promise. But now I must go to bed … much to do tomorrow.

xo
The Single Girl

Almost Single

I have a button that I wear on my spring jacket. The button reads Almost Single, which, when I bought it seemed appropriate as I was in an open long distance relationship. I hadn’t really thought about the button until a few days ago when a bunch of people – here at the conference I am at - felt compelled to comment on my button, what does that mean, how provocative, isn’t that funny/interesting and so on. The most notable came from a man that I have met once or twice but know of quite well by his reputation as a ladies man/lover of women/slut, depending on who is giving the answer.

He was very intrigued by the button and made jokes and comments and I became all flirty and blushed and sputtered my way through a conversation. Once it was over I commented to my coworker that I am traveling with that I thought he was hitting on me. “Probably”, she replied “he is known to do that sort of thing” and we left it at that.

Later that evening I attended an event and the flirtatious man ended up occupying the seat next to me. He went routing through his bag and pulled out a sandwich. “Do you think they allow eating here in the auditorium” he asked looking around nervously as he started to unwrap his sandwich. “Probably not, but it is a small sandwich and you have large hands, I am sure you can be discreet but it.” I replied. Thank you for noticing he said and he unwrapped his sandwich and ate it.. “You know, you are going to get caught because you look like someone trying not to get caught.” I told him as he cautiously watched for ushers. “You need to eat your sandwich with confidence as though you know you are aloud to eat it here.” As I said that he stood up in the middle of the auditorium faced me and chewed on his turkey sandwich in defiance. I giggled profusely and recommended he sit back down.

We continued our small talk and flirtation right up until curtain time. As the evening was about to begin I decided that my short legs would be more comfortable if I sat cross legged for the 75 minute presentation. After crossing them I turned to the terribly flirtatious man and said “I hope you don’t mind my leg being so dangerously close to yours.” Apparently he didn’t as he spent the next 75 minutes very subtly caressing my leg.

After the show we were to go to a reception, but I decided I wanted to quickly change, as did the flirtatious man. We headed toward our respective hotels, continuing to discuss my button and flirt outrageously. He told me I should meet him in his room once I was ready, he even offered me my own key. I declined the key offer but did make my way to his room. He offered me ice cream and I sat on his bed and watched him iron his shirt while I enjoyed a few spoonfuls of chunky monkey. It was there in his room we first kissed, and then in the elevator leaving the hotel, and the elevator on our way to the party.

Once we entered the reception and we parted ways for a few hours, each of us with colleagues to talk to and new friends to make. I ended up chatting with a very attractive man from the city who gave me some insight about his city and its people. After about three hours I was ready to leave the party, as was the Flirtatious Man. We decided to go for a walk.

We chatted a bit about ourselves as we walked away from the regular cityscape and into a park area. I found out a little about him and his family, how he ended up working in the business and what his plans for the future were – work wise. Once in the park he took me by the hand and asked me to follow him off the well lit path. I cautiously agreed as we wandered into the woods and up a steep hill. He seemed to think there was a ledge in a clearing that we could hang out in, but no it was only a fallen log part way up the hill. Instead of leaving we ended up making out leaned against a tree on a most precarious angle for about 30 minutes. I am not one for salacious details, but I will say it was a lot of fun to make out in the trees. We each had early mornings so we wandered back towards our hotels and parted ways for the evening.

A few days later we met for brunch and another walk. This time we just wandered the city streets in the light of day and chatted about life and work. He talked about his romantic life and the three women he was currently dating, and I talked about the new guy I was excited to fly home to see in a day or two. As we ate brunch and shared stories I decided the Almost Single button should go to him, he really liked it and with three girlfriends it is more appropriate for him, than for me these days. I took it off my coat and slid it across the table to him. He happily accepted and put it on his coat and then we went back to our omelets and idle chatter.


xo
The Single Girl

Update from the road

He sent me an email last night.

The Subject line was I have to tell you ...

And the body of the email said

I miss your lips.


Not bad at all, I say.

xo
TSG

ps. so far I have no witty nickname for this one. I think another date is in order before it will conjure in my brain.

Just when I was about to quit online dating

Thursday night I went on a coffee “date” with Mr. Polamory - a man with a wife, a girlfriend and an online dating profile. His wife has both a girlfriend and a boyfriend. Bit of a web of lovers and partners but I have never been one to shy away from complication so I agreed to meet him. In emails and chats we had lots to talk about and made each other laugh with our witty banter so I had high hopes that we would make a connection and form a friendship if not something more.

The date was underwhelming. We grabbed tea and headed off for a walk along the river. He was a bit nervous and shifty and when the conversation stopped for more than a few seconds he would often fill the silence by saying “murr” a habit that within the 90 minutes we spent together became quite annoying. The date ended fine, with a hug and I’ll see you later but I didn’t care if I ever saw him again as there was no spark, no “zsa zsa zoom” to quote Sex and the City.

I woke up Friday and contemplated getting rid of my online dating profile because I realized after two failed dates that I don’t really care about dating right now and pursuing men I am vaguely interested in (at best) is a very silly pursuit. I was about to leave my office around 5:30 to get ready for an evening work event and I broke my rule about not checking the site and work only to find I had a message from a guy; a cute and older man (well older than me) who manages my local organic grocery store. His message was sweet and simple telling me he liked my profile and thought I was cute and hoped I thought he was interesting enough to answer his message.

I decided I should go home and respond from there. I sent him a quick note saying I was interested but that I was leaving town the next morning so we probably wouldn’t have a chance to talk until I got back. He replied very quickly to find out if I could meet that very evening. I was in a rush to head back to work but I asked him if I could call him around 10pm when I was done work. He gave me his number and we left it at that.

I arrived home at the end of a marathon day at about 10pm and called the man. He told me his address – about 2 blocks from my house and said I should pick him up. Now I am pretty new to online dating but from my perspective he was taking a bit of a risk. Oh well, his problem not mine. I picked him up and we headed to a local tapas bar and proceeded to have a great date. A real date, not an awkward coffee you have with someone whose profile you liked. A first date with stories and questions and little sparks of attraction and intrigue across the table.

We left around midnight and I walked him home, and then he walked me home. When we got to my door we started making plans for after I return from my business trip. I’ll call, or he will call, blah blah blah. He asked for a hug and we did and I kissed him on the cheek and then we kissed on the lips and then a few soft sweet kisses. I could feel his heart pounding through his chest as though he was a nervous twelve year old boy kissing a girl for the first time. It was so powerful I had to touch his chest with my hand.

“Okay, so Friday … what time do you finish work. I want to see you again.” He said almost breathlessly. “I will call you when I get back and we will make a plan. I finish work around five. We will work it out.” I replied and kissed him on more time before I headed into the house. Now I am at the airport – one of my favourite places to write blog posts - thinking about soft kisses and wondering what Friday will hold.

More next week.

xo
The Single Girl.

Ed. Note … I did write this post at the airport but didn’t get a chance to post it until this evening.

Oh Right, The Date

The date was lame, so lame it isn't even worth posting about.

I haven't left online dating yet, but I don't have a lot of hope.

More soon.

TSG

More Awesome than Awesome

OQB and I were chatting late last week and he told me that he is dating a man named Awesome. His actual last name is Awesome. I have to admit I am a little jealous of this turn of events but mostly I am just happy for him. A man named Awesome who use to write for porno movies.

It just doesn’t get any better than that ladies and gentlemen.

The thing about dating in your 30s is …

You come across a lot of people that are getting divorced, or already divorced and/or have kids.

It is kind of a strange phenomenon for me meeting guys in their 30s, as I have spent the better part of the last four years exclusively dating men in their 20s. I am use to meeting guys who have had a serious relationship or two but none of them have married anyone or really even lived with girlfriends. Now – especially since starting online dating - I keep coming across men who are divorced and have kids. It is taking some adjustment in this little brain of mine.

The other thing I am finding in the online world is it is harder to find and land younger guys – although I am consciously trying to date people my own age right now – because younger men now know my age from my profile so they aren’t really looking at me as an option. At least that is my perception. When I meet someone in really life we can hit it off, have a good time chat, flirt, whatever and our actual age might never get discussed but here, on the internet it is right there in front of you for all to see. It makes it a bit different, awkward in a way. Maybe I just projecting, as I ignore any man over 38 that tries to send me a message. Is that wrong?

This whole post is the long way of saying I am meeting someone next week. Or I have met someone online and we are going to meet up this week. He has a kid, which is fine, but a bit odd. I am not sure if I would call it a date yet but I am looking forward to trying this “dating” thing again. Wish me luck. I might need it.

More on this story and much more soon.

xo
The Single Girl

Seriously

I was online … minding my own business answering some more questions on this dating website and this guy starts chatting to me and in under 2 minutes asks if I would consider each of us peeing our pants.

SERIOUSLY … he didn’t even ask me my favourite books or movies, it was hi, how are you, what are you doing, hey I have this crazy idea … what would you think about each of us peeing in our pants tonight.

My response … Goodbye.

I have not quit online dating, yet. But if things don't improve in six days I am leaving.

More hilarious and disgusting stories soon.

TSG

Diving In and Jumping Out, and Diving In and Jumping Out

Over the weekend I was thinking about dating again, and blogging again as I haven’t done either in months. Blogging is easy, I just sit down and write a little blurb, go to blogger and poof! there it is. Dating is a bit more challenging generally speaking.

In an effort to stay away from men in my field of work I decided to try online dating, again. A different site this time as last time the results were awful and disastrous. The new site I went to was okay, but I forgot just how much online dating can be like going to a meat market club. There are a lot of men trying to pick up and some women just checking out the scene.

I haven’t finished the whole registration part yet, there are many questions and quizzes and essays to do in order to find a match. So far I find the pickings slim, a bunch of single dads have started talking to me, and people who pop up on IM and say, “you’re pretty” really aren’t my cup of tea. I am trying really hard not to be skeptical, but I don’t have a great deal of hope for the process.

I am resolved not quit until I have given the site at least a week to prove it isn’t a total waste of time.

One whole week. I swear.

… Sigh …

The Single Girl

Four Strikes, You're Out

While I can’t say I am totally over my crush I have decided that I will not be pursuing anything for a number of reasons, not the least of which is we are working together right now. I have discovered a few things over the past few days that have made me positive this kid is not worth my time or energy romantically.

Strike One – He is an aspiring actor. I have always thought dating actors was a very very bad idea. If someone has evidence that I am wrong or a story to disprove my theory … I am all ears.

Strike Two – He is a smoker. I stopping smoking 3 ½ years ago and when I stopped smoking I stopped dating smokers, it is gross and quite frankly just a little too tempting a reason to start again.

Strike Three – He has a girlfriend. For all his flirting and chatting in the past week when we were at the bar after work last night he introduced me to some girl and then 20 seconds later they were holding hands and snuggly. Nuff Said

Strike Four (not that we really another strike, three is good for baseball and the girlfriend thing makes this all a non starter, but I feel I must) – He is 27. After four years of dating men in their 20s I am beginning to think it is time for me to look towards more age appropriate lovers for a while. As much fun as Fireboy, Awesome and the SSM were, maturity is a quality I would now like to track.

Realistically even thinking about dating is kind of silly as I have only been “single” for a week or two. Bah, who am I kidding if I could I would be out on the scene dating again if there was anyone worth looking at.

;)

The Single Girl

Crushed

I have a crush. It is bad. He is 28 or 29 and an actor.

That being said, it is nice to be up and thinking about someone new as oppose to focusing on the old.

Too busy to share more, but hopefully on the weekend I can elaborate and create an appropriate nickname for the wee lad.

TSG